Ripped at the Seams
by PrentissRose
Summary: Being SVU detectives can cause more stress than necessary. Relationships with people they once loved are beginning to crumble. They develop strong feelings for each other that they've never dared mention to anyone. Now, their trust will be truly tested when they are forced together only to be ripped at the seams.
1. Confrontations

**_A/N: This isn't my first FF. I deleted a few that I started but weren't that good. Anyway this is just the first chapter and I kinda did it in a rush so it might not be that good. Reviews and corrections to any mistakes are much appreciated! Tell me what you guys think! :) These characters are obviously not mine, they're Dick Wolf's. Wish they were mine though... _**

_November 14 Ripped at the Seams_

_Perhaps it was the cold steal of the metal pinching her wrists that woke her up from the daze she was in. It could've also been the contant aching of her body, although she had gone numb a while ago. The air was humid, but cool wrapping a blanket of perspiration around her heaving body. She couldn't find the strength to take in a full breath. She just couldn't. Every time she thought about what he'd made him do. The way Elliot's eyes looked pleadingly into hers, begging her for forgiveness for what he was about to do. She'd screamed bloody murder, sobbing, taking in heaving gasps of breath trying to push him away from her. _

_"El, it's okay..." She whimpered the lie one last time before squeezing her eyes shut, not wanting to see him, the man she loved for fourteen long years of her life, overpower her like that. Forcing her to do something she fought against everyday. _

November 13

Olivia had no idea what had woken her this time. Last night it had been the stay cat, that had been fucking around on the fire escape, dragging its metal collar along the metal floor causing Liv to bolt up in bed, in fear of an intruder. The night before that it was her upstairs neighbors banging viciously. She had to throw at least three pillows over her head for the screams of lust finally subdued in the least. Everyone at work the next morning had been at one time or another been yelled at by a bitchy Olivia. Even Cragen had been. He didn't dare argue with her though, she was having a tough time enough as it was.

Liv had just recently ended a relationship with some prick she'd been dating for months. The only reason the office knew about it was by the raging fight Liv and Mark had in the middle of the precinct floor. Mark had claimed Liv was spending to much time at work and that their relationship was more important. That is where Liv drew the line. That fight had only stopped when Cragen threatened to throw Mark's sorry ass in jail. He left in a huff, muttering one final, 'selfish bitch' before exiting the room.

Liv tried to remain strong and brush it off, but the whole precinct had been staring, goggling. She politely excused herself for the day and as soon as she got home she flung herself into the shower, sobbing her god holy heart out. He'd tried to be nice and mend the wounded relationship, and she had pushed him away.

So now, with that fucking obnoxious ringtone echoing off her skull, she pushed herself out of bed with a muffled, 'fuck' and answered the phone, not bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Liv Benson." She slurred, trying to rid the sleep from her voice which was harder then it looked.

"Hey, Liv." It was Elliot. He sounded tired, distressed, and the tadist bit frustrated. Liv sighed, propped herself on one elbow, and flicked on the bedside lamp. The bright light poured over her eyes, causing for them to involuntarily snap shut.

"El, what's up?" She asked him, curious as to why he was calling her at lets see...two in the morning. She heard him sigh heavily on the other end.

"Can you pick me up?" He muttered, sounding slightly embarrased at the thought of interupting his partner's only time of peace. Now it was Liv's turn to sigh.

"Yeah. Where are you?" Liv had thrown the comfortable, warm duvet off of her. It hurt her skin knowing that soon enough she would be out in the freezing snow that was falling around at such an early time of the year.

"Joe's Bar in Queens." Elliot said. Olivia sighed. Just her luck. Queens wasn't exactly the closet thing to her.

"Can't you get a cab?" Liv asked polietly as she could, not wanting to hurt his feelings. It wasn't a huge deal for her to drive a little while to help her best friend in need, but it wasn't exactly convienient either.

"I could, but the reason I called is that I need to talk to you." Elliot sounded strained almost as if he were upset. Elliot Stabler was not the kind of man to be upset, at least not over the phone. Liv pulled an old college sweatshirt over her head.

"Fine, Stabler. You owe me." Olivia snarked a little to meanly at him. She heard him sigh in relief that he was getting a ride home.

"Thanks, Liv." She heard the genuine trust and thankfulness in his voice and her heart swelled in pride at the thought of her making him sigh like that.

Liv pulled out the car she obviously bought at her mid-life crisis, and sped down the streets of New York, suddenly a bit happier she bought the car. There weren't exactly a proceedingly immense amount of cabs circling around New York City in the middle of the night. She got there sooner then she actually expected considering the fact she lived pretty far.

He was sitting on the curb outside the dingy bar rubbing a bloody fist. Snow was curling down around him onto the dirty pavement. Her work tie was loose around his neck and he looked incredibly stressed out. Liv pulled over beside him and pretty much jumped out of the car.

"Oh my god, El, what happened?" She winced at the black eye that was starting to form, as well as a considerably long cut across his forehead.

"A fight." He admitted sheepishly. Liv took a seat beside him when she realized he wasn't moving. Her cozy purple pajama pants were hit with the stinging coldness of the snow on the sidewalk. It instantly soaked through both her pants and underwear causing much discomfort to her ass. This wasn't the time to be thinking about her ass, though.

"Oh, El." She reached an arm around his sagging shoulders. "You wanna tell me about it?" She asked as his shoulders starting shaking. Although she couldn't see his face because he'd buried it in his hands, she was certain he was choking back tears. This was like a fucking dream. Elliot Stabler couldn't cry, or even come close to it. It was against the law of his alpha male ways.

"It was Mark. He was here." Elliot managed to muster. Every muscle in Liv's body tensed at his name. Why the hell was Mark there? "Look, Liv he just came in and saw me. Started trash talking you. H-he called you the worst things and just said all this awful stuff. I snapped. Broke his fucking nose, that was sure worth these." He ushered to the still forming bruise he revealed to her and the cut glistening with blood.

"El, you should've just walked away, but thanks anyway." She was truly grateful that Elliot had stood up for her when she wasn't there to defend herself. Hearing that he broke that asshole's nose gave driving out to Queens a whole other perspective. Elliot smiled weakly at her for the thanks. It troubled her a bit to see him like this. It really and truly did. Given the fact that Liv was a bit preoccupied with her recent ugly breakup a few days prior, she hadn't noticed the slight change in Elliot as well. As a matter of fact, this whole stressed out bit had been going on weeks before she broke up with Mark. Just realizing it now made her feel especially guilty, but she promised herself she'd make it up to him somehow.

"Can I stay at your place tonight?" Elliot asked her, a bit of uncertainty tugging at his voice. Her grip around his shoulders tightened in the slightest. Never had Elliot ever asked so bluntly to stay at her apartment. He might've given hints if he and Kathy were having one of those steaming fights, but never flat out asked. She had always allowed him to stay with her on her couch, him always leaving before she even woke up. Liv wasn't about to say "no" to this. It wasn't really any trouble, it'd just be like the other times. Besides the poor man had just gotten a black eye and a sharp cut on his face, not to mention the scar that would be on his knuckles from breaking that idiot's nose.

"Of course." She said soothingly. "I think we should get home soon though. You need some ice for that eye." He smiled at her hospitality for her best friend in need of a place to stay. Slipping his strong arm around her waist, he stood up. It was a nice feeling, having him so close to her. She never really gave any thought to the way he touched her, not until now that is. The way his hand curled around the curve in her waist made her tingle. Plus the way that she supported some of his exhausted body weight. She wasn't sure why she was suddenly feeling like this about Elliot, but she kinda liked it.

They'd gotten back to her apartment in good time, and Elliot nearly collapsed as Liv was fumbling with the keys to the door.

"Woah, El. You okay there?" She asked in concern supporting him as best she could with one arm. He nodded groggily, just wanting to get somewhere warm and comfortable before he completely lost all control over his ability to stand, which was coming at quite a rapid pace.

Liv managed to swing the door open and kick it shut with her foot. Not at all noticing the way she left it unlocked, exposed.

"I jus' 'ed some 'offee." He muttered his hopes getting high that Liv would actually let him drink some. Oh hell no. She led him over to her bedroom ignoring the couch that screamed safety from any awkward confrontations in the morning. How mortifying would it be to have Elliot ask her if they slept together. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if that was the case.

"Come on, El, you're going the fuck to bed." Liv lay him down gently on the sheets that had once been warm with her body heat. He maintained his grip on her waist, not actually wanting to let go. "El, let go." She managed to pry his hand from her a place it on his chest. She then proceeded to gently slip off his shoes. Elliot's throbbing head shot up when he felt her pulling at his socks as well.

"You tryin' to rape me, Liv?" He asked her grinning stupidly. "Cause you can jus' ask." Liv rolled her eyes at him. Clearly Elliot wasn't thinking straight by the way his words to her changed from stressed out to joking. For a moment, she wondered if he'd been hit to hard and gotten a cuncussion. Then she realized it was just his game. Those fucking cocky games that he played with her everyday.

"Hardly," She muttered letting her own light smirk play across her lips, even though nothing about the situation was funny. Elliot probably felt like crap. Obviously running on low sleep, getting in a brutal fight in a bar with her ex, and being slightly tipsy wasn't the greatest list of things he wanted to do in the middle of a crowded week.

"Livv..." Elliot groaned as she began working at his belt. She sighed in frustation that he had to make everything out of this situation sexual. Although, something about the way she was taking off his pants may have given him a misleading hint.

"I'm tossing these in the dryer, El." Liv explained to him softly, wondering if he understood a word she was saying. Hell, for all she knew he was interpreting that as, 'come bang me.' "Keep your boxers on, idiot." She said tugging off the damp work pants. After she tossed them on the other side of the bed, her hands came up to his shirt. The thin cottony material made her nervous for some reason and when she toyed with the hem a jolt of electric shot through her hands.

"My shirt too? Seriously, Liv I do like strip teases, but not from myself." Elliot giggled like a girl and grinned thinking he was going to get lucky. Like hell he was. She wanted so badly to slap him across the face and scream at him for being so obnoxious and cocky. If it weren't for the black eye and bloody cut he already had retained, she might have.

"Shut up, Elliot." She hissed at him as she lifted the fabric over his shoulders, exposing his chiseled chest and muscled arms. To be honest it seemed like one of those cheesy love story moments when the girl realized her mad desire for him and they made love passionately by the light of a single candle. Liv snorted at the thought, causing Elliot to look up actual curiosity etched on his face.

"Whatt?" He wined. Liv shook her head and neatly folded his pants and shirt. "Tell me, Livvyy." He moaned grabbing at her waist. She forcefully shoved his hands off of her and glared. Guilt overtook her when she saw his eyes lower in embarrassment. Laying a delicate hand on his arm, she gazed down at him wanting to do more to comfort him. Hug him and thank him profusely for sticking up for her. Kiss him. That last part made her remember the cheesy love story thing. The sad truth of the matter was, Liv always knew she loved Elliot, therefore it didn't exactly go along with the story.

"I'm sorry, El." Liv said truthfully. She was sorry that he and Kathy were so obviously having bigger problems then expected, she was sorry that she couldn't hold out a relationship for more then a few months without having to break up because of her job, she was sorry that she felt so fucking stupid sometimes, wanting him like she never wanted anyone else. It was absolute insanity, but it was the truth. Life was shitty. Families were overrated. She wished desperately that she had someone to share her pain with, but she hardly knew what pain was with the terrible ordeal ahead of her.


	2. Taken

**A/N: Hey! This is the second chapter and its coming along okay I guess! I really appreciate any reviews or suggestions you guys have for this because I want to make it better :) Thanks a bunch for reading! **

November 13

Liv felt the covers being ripped off of her and something hard pressing against her temple. Her eyes flew open, but she dared not wince.

"Scream, your brains are going on the wall." Growled a mean, husky voice that undoubtfully belonged to a man. Before she could even nod slowly in response, the captor grabbed her forearm firmly with his gloved own and yanked her off the couch. Liv couldn't help but stumble as she'd just been woken up not quite as she would've liked. She'd lost her balance and the only thing that was keeping her upright was the assailants strong arm keeping a death grip on her. It was excrushiatingly painful to admit Liv was relying her balance on a man who'd evidently broken into her house. It was even more painful to see herself in the mirror on the wall. Her normally tan, warm face was pale and shallow, and her hair was thrown back in a clip she had thrown it into earlier. Her body went even more rigid in fear when she noticed the man who held her. He was wearing all black including a black ski mask. He was big, but not as big as Elliot. It hurt her to admit he could easily overpower her, but she forced that in the back of her mind. What she needed to do know was figure out how to survive.

He pressed his crotch against her ass, digging the gun in her temple even harder. He pushed her forward with just his body, making extra careful to emphasize how quiet she should be with the gun. They entered the bedroom and Liv's heart sank at the helpless lump on her bed. She didn't expect him to be sitting up pointing his own gun defensively at the man, demanding he let her go. Suddenly she wished she had actually given him the coffee he'd requested earlier. A quick glance at the clock gave her the answer she needed as to what time it was. 5:01. Great, no one would expecting them at the office for another three hours at the least. The increased amount of time gave the guy a dandy amount of time to murder both of them. Surely the neighbors would hear them, then again most of her neighbors were either sex addicts or mean, old ladies, neither of which would be compelled to call the police right away. Besides, even if they did, the perp would be gone and they would be dead.

Liv wondered how the team would take it when they found their brains splashed across the walls of Liv's bedroom. She shoved that thought farther back into her mind as well as the others that popped up. Her focus now was Elliot. Sadly so was the perp's.

"Wake him up." He growled into her ear shoving her over to Elliot's deeply breathing body. At first Olivia wasn't sure what to do. It was in her last intrest to wake Elliot up and drag him into this fucking mess, but the way the perp was directing the gun at her head made her have to oblige. She walked slowly and tentivly over to where Elliot peacefully lay, his eyes closed in a deep, entrancing sleep. Olivia looked back at the perp begging him silently with her eyes to leave him the hell out of this. He tightened his grip on the gun and shifted, meaning business.

"Elliot." She squeaked and tugged at the bedsheets, squeezing her eyes shut. The way her voice sounded wasn't the way it should have. Olivia Benson's voice was usually full of confidence, snark, and of course the slight hint of sarcasm. Now it was like that of a child; scared and soft.

Elliot shifted under the covers, but he did pop open his eyes briefly enough to see the look of utter distress plastered on Liv's face. He shot up in bed, his head pounding around him. He didn't really care though, it was her that he cared about. Involuntarily he reached out his hand to her, but then he heard the click of the gun in the doorway and the distinguishable sob of Liv next to him. A far away ringing in his ears sounded when he realized what had happened.

"Take whatever you want." Elliot breathed softly to the assailant, only wanting to get them both out of there alive. The man didn't lower his gun, nor did he make any movement to indicate he had even heard Elliot's plea. A few moments passed, Elliot remained sitting in bed adreniline pulsing through his veins. Liv remained frozen to the spot feeling horribly guilty for pulling him down with her, but she didn't exactly have the choice.

"I want her." The man finally growled deeply. Liv's body, if possible, went even more rigid. Elliot saw her small body swaying; out of emotion, out of panic.

"You know I can't let you have her." Elliot whispered firmly to the assailant. He hoped, prayed, wished on his life that this man would leave Olivia alone. The last thing he wanted was for Liv to be hurting even more.

"Oh really?" The voice of him came out sarcastic and harsh. He walked over to Liv's shaking figure taking long strides as he went. Elliot flinched wanting to pound his face in for getting so close to her. How dare he even think for a second he could touch her. His gloved hand was stroking the side of her face, she closed her eyes trying to block the image out, but he wouldn't stop. "It's either you come detective, or you don't." Given his limited choices, Elliot obviously chose the choice that would have the greater chance of getting Liv safe. He wouldn't, he couldn't, leave her alone, not with him, not with anyone.

"I'll go, just please don't hurt her." Elliot pleaded with the man. He didn't like himself for begging like that, it gave him the satisfaction of having control, but the pained look on Liv's face was the horrid proof that he didn't know what else to do. He had let this happen to her. It was his fault.

"No promises." Growled the man harshly. "Now get up and follow me. You try anything, this little whores gonna be splattered on a wall, get it?" Elliot nodded at the vicious threat and for once in his life he knew that he had no intention to try and escape. At least not yet, not with him so menacing and dangerous. Not with Liv in his arms.

"Okay." Elliot said trying to remain calm, although he was on his last nerve. His adrenaline was racing madly and he fought every urge there was to kill the guy with his bare hands right there. He just couldn't risk him hurting Liv. The man ushered for Elliot to go first out the door and he quickly followed with his arm securely wrapped around her shoulders and the gun digging into her temple. Out into the hallway, down the elevator, into the frigid parking lot...Elliot and Olivia both hoped to god someone would see them...anyone. It wasn't the most normal sight to see a man with bulging muscles and tatos snaking up his arms only concealed in boxers in public at 5:00. Not to mention the fact that seeing a gun being held to someones head in the violent nature that presented itself to Liv, was a obvious outcry for help. But who would be looking out their window at 5:00 o'clock in the morning. Certainly not sex addicts or crazy, old ladies.

The man shoved them in the back of a big black van parked somewhere near the back of the parking lot. Elliot landed a little more gracefully then Liv, who smashed painfully into a cage nestled in the back. After the doors swung shut and ignition start seconds later Elliot proceeded in banging on the doors of the van, convincing himself every time he did that, the doors got a little weaker.

"El, stop!" Liv whimpered from the back. Elliot turned to face her and saw that her head was bleeding, somewhat like his had been the night before.

"Liv..." He crawled over to her, avoiding the various things scattered on the floor that scared the absolute shit out of him. There was a large rope that was looped into a noose, dirty looking cloths that were covering in suspicious red stains, not to mention the actual blood stains on the carpets themselves.

He drew his focus back to Olivia, giving his imagination some time to make up excuses as to why these things were here. Seeing to dismay that she was silently panicking, he wrapped his arms around her.

"It's okay, Liv. You're gonna be okay." He rubbed her back in soothing circles as she melted into him. Not sure if this was actually a dream now, Elliot looked at a glimpse his partners anguish stained face. He hadn't seen Liv this way in god knows how long. Not because she didn't stress out, but because she was damn good at hiding her emotions.

"El, its not me that I'm worried about. Its you." She squeaked with a shudder into his shoulder. He pulled her away to get a full view of her.

"What do you mean?" He asked. She should be far more concerned about her welfare than his, after all he felt like there was a bigger risk of Liv being assaulted. It gave him thoughts he had never wanted to imagine, but were hard to force out of his find.

"I mean if he hurts you...I could never live with myself knowing that you might still be okay if it weren't for me." Liv sniffled. Elliot brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"No, Liv. This wasn't and isn't ever going to be your fault. You here?" He cradled her head in the nook of his neck and leaned back against the side of the van. He buried his eyes and nose in her hair, becoming slightly more sound with the smell of vanilla and lavendar shampoo that she usually wore, knowing that he wasn't going through this alone. They had each other.

And so they drove.

And drove.

And drove.

It must've been hours since they'd been held at gunpoint at Liv's apartment. Elliot could barely see out the tainted windows, but knew that they were definitely no longer in New York City, much less any city. Pine trees with snow stuck on every branch whipped past them. El knew they were going fast, too fat. His grip tightened around Liv wanting her to feel safe. Thats when they both felt the van slowing. Liv picked up her head with tired hopeful eyes, wondering what could be happening. Soon they were at a dead stop. The back doors of the van swung open and the man-minus his ski mask- had the gun pointed at them once more.

"Get out." He ordered Liv. She climbed hesitantly from Elliot's arms scared to death he was going to separate them. "You too." He order Elliot. He climbed out quickly wanting to be a safely close distance to Liv. This slight pause in the rapid pace they were moving gave them both a look at his face, closely.

He had a pudgy face, not exactly attractive, dark eyes that didn't look like they had a distinct color, and shaggy, greasy black hair. For some reason it gave Elliot the impression of a sullen teenager even though the guy had to be about 30.

"Walk." He ordered them, jerking his gun in the direction of a barely there path circling into the deep, snowy forest. They both obliged, walking stiffly scared to death that any fast movements would spook him and one of them would end up dead.

It took minutes for them to be completely surrounded by snowy white trees and the occasional brown branch poking through the curtain of it. The van disappeared. The black road disappeared. Any chance of society disappeared. It was only the steady breathing of Elliot beside her, and the hitched breathing of the man behind her that kept her back to the reality of danger. If she had been here on any other circumstances, she would find the scenery quite peaceful.

Elliot didn't know how long they walked, only that when they got to the cabin, his feet were numb and he could feel the beginning of frost bite on his nose, his chest, and pretty much his whole body considering he was only in boxers. It made him cringe that they were so far away from any other human besides each other. No one would ever hear the gun shots or screams of pain coming from inside that cabin. No one could help.

"Be still." The man ordered. They both froze in their tracks, a bit happy for the delay in entering the cabin. Who knows, once they got in there, they might never be able to get out. A moment later Liv felt a painful pinch in her neck, and she whirled around, startled. A syringe was in his hand and she knew exactly what he had done. Soon enough everything around her was spinning. The big white trees didn't seem so menacing anymore and the cabin didn't seem so scary. All she wanted to do was lay down and eat some chocolate and marshmallows. Chocolate and marshmallows sounded really good. Maybe the cabin had some chocolate and marshmallows inside. The last thing she heard before she passed out was Elliot's voice telling her it would all be okay. Marshmallows.

His pretty eyes were looming over her. She could smell his breath, his sweet, sweet breath. The breath she sometimes wanted to feel on her neck, on her face, on her lips. He was saying something to her in a panicked tone that made her wake up faster then either one expected. The slight ringing she had in her ears faded.

"Liv, are you okay?" Elliot asked. His tone was frightened and tentative. More scared then she actually expected considering the fact that she sat herself up only feeling hungover.

"El, I'm fine." Liv told him soothingly. She didn't like when he was scared, because Elliot never got scared. The moment her eyes fully adjusted to the dim light around her, she knew something was wrong. Not wrong in the sense that the memories of them being abducted in the back of a van, but the way the room was set up. Red and cream candles were miscellaneously laid across the floor, sending a dancing eerie light splayed across the walls. Fresh rose petals scattered the floor along with a bottel of champaign nestled in a metal bucket. The things that bothered her the most were the way the dirty, gray walls had no windows and the bed. The bed was nestled in the corner of the room also covered in rose petals with a deep velvet blanket on it. As comfortable as it looked, it sent shivers down Liv's back. "What happened?" Liv asked when Elliot didn't respond to her last comment. In fact he looked absolutely sick to his stomach.

"I-I, theres, h-he might," Elliot stuttered, his voice sounding small and weak. Liv lay a gentle hand on his bare arm. He hung his head and took a shuddering breath. "Oh my god Liv, I don't know what to do." Liv heard the pain in his voice and took this as a chance to fully wrap her arms around his sagging shoulders.

"We'll be okay, El." Liv soothed him gently. She knew something happened while she had been knocked out of it. She wondered if Elliot had been drugged too, but quickly decided that he probably hadn't. The reason why, she hadn't a clue. She noticed that Elliot was shaking in her arms, even though his bare upper body was hot. Hot as in the temperature. "El, please tell me what happened." Liv almost begged him.

Elliot just took a shuddering breath, like he couldn't bare say. "Liv, if I hurt you, I couldn't..." he whimpered. Liv pulled away from him a little bit, not sure if she just heard him right. What was he talking about hurting her, when they already had one psycho to deal with.

"What?" Her voice came out more accusing then she'd originally planned. Maybe Elliot actually had been drugged and the fading affects were getting him screwed up with reality. Somehow she wished that was the case.

"Liv, he's going to make me hurt you." That was Elliot's first full sentence and it scared the hell out of Olivia. Please make this be a joke. Some sick, disgusting joke that Fin and Elliot are playing on her. So when his face breaks into a smile and yells, "gotcha!" she can punch him in the face. It wasn't a joke though, and she knew it. His pained eyes were cloudy with tears and his body was quivering with the horrible truth of the situation.

"El-" Liv started to say, but a loud bang cut her off. She jumped back a bit away from Elliot, startled. A large metal door that she hadn't noticed on the wall behind them, swung open. The man that had taken them was standing there, with nostrils flared and an angry beat red face.

"I told you not to tell her." He hissed in a snaky voice that sent shivers running through Olivia. Tell her what? That he was going to hurt her? The man's face broke into a wide smile at the look of utter shock on her face. "Oh, you don't believe him?" He teased in a mocking voice. "Well, I would because he's going to. If he refuses," a swift movement from one of his hands brought the gun out from the pocket of his jacket, "bang!" He mocked shooting Olivia right in the head.

Liv barely noticed Elliot was trembling harder then she was. Only because she thought he would never think of hurting her. Because she trusted him with her life.

"Now, I'm going to have to explain some of the rules of the game to you." He said kicking the door shut with his foot sending another bang through the room. "Actually, first I have to introduce myself." He said in a giggling tone. "Joham. My mother gave me that fucking name, but originality is good." It startled Liv that he was talking to them in such a comfortable tone. Although he was undoubtedly a psycho after all. "_Now_ for the rules. He is going to do everything to you, that I tell him to." Joham said directing his words towards Olivia. "I already explained most of it to him and I wanted the pleasure of telling you myself, but looks like he took that already." He shrugged, rolling his eyes a bit. "That'll just make him do worse to you." He said in a carefree tone. Elliot's blood froze. Did he just potentially hurt her more by telling her? "You will do as I say because I'm going to be watching you. I'll be hidden, but still watching." Joham chuckled. "Now I would suggest getting some sleep before we start which is going to be at precisely 12 o'clock. It's five now, so don't waste your time." Then he was gone, the doors bang the only proof he'd been there seconds before explaining the sick twisted thing he called a game.

They sat there in utter shock for a moment, taking in the harsh sting of his words. It wasn't one of those things that you could imagine ever happening. Liv could never imagine Elliot hurting her. Getting in fights with each other maybe, but not physically hurting her. Elliot couldn't bring himself to think about it either. The sincerity of Joham's words when he had explained to him the whole prospect of the game.

Liv had been passed out on the floor, Elliot was speechless as his cold voice ripped through the air. He told him he was going to make him fuck her senseless.

"I would do it myself, but I don't exactly get off on doing it myself." Joham had said, his face turning red. It made Elliot's stomach twist into knots hoping to god that he wouldn't make him violate Liv like that. He couldn't do that.

"El..." Liv's voice came out small and whimpered. "We have to get out of here." The desperation in her voice startled him a bit.

"Liv, I-I," He stuttered, scared about telling her about what Joham said, "he's gonna m-make me." Thats all he could get out without breaking down in anger and fear that this was happening. Liv wrapped her arms around Elliot once more and buried her face into his chest. It was then that she let out her tears for the first time in that room. Angry tears. Scared tears. Every emotion of tears that you could think up came spilling out on his bare chest letting him know that she was as confused and upset as he was. She wanted to stop and be strong, tell him that they'd make it out of there, but she couldn't. Because it was a lie.

"It'll be okay, El. You can hurt me if it means you get out of here." She whimpered meaning every word. As long as he could get out, find help, even it meant him beating her to nothing. Of course Elliot hadn't told her yet about the sex part. Even then she would've insisted he do it, for their own good. His strong arms, that didn't seem so strong at the current moment, slipped around her waist. They tightened when she encouraged him to take the risk of hurting her.

"I can't hurt you, Liv. You know that." Elliot whispered to her, silently begging and pleading for her to yell at him, make him angry, so that if the time came raping her might seem easier. Her reassurance that it was okay didn't make him feel any better. It made him feel so much worse.

"Elliot, please just do it. He'll hurt us both if you don't." She sniffled into him hoping it would be easier when the time came. Trying to hide her fear and weakness she pulled away and ushered to the bed. "You should get some sleep." It hurt him deeply that she was so eager to hide her true feelings. It was obvious that she was scared as hell. Who wouldn't be? He wanted to hold her, tell her he was so sorry, but he couldn't. He urged her to share the bed with him as it was relatively big, but she argued that she didn't want to sleep on anything that bastard had serviced for them. He had to agree.

So they both curled up in balls on the floor. Liv made sure she was separated a safe distance from Elliot, which hurt him. She was scared of him already, even though he hadn't yet touched her. After a few grueling hours had passed, Elliot thought she was asleep. Of course she wasn't.

How could anyone sleep in a situation like this? Exhaustion, maybe, but she wasn't going to let herself be woken up, confused and have all of the memories flood back to her like they had earlier. Liv pretended not to notice Elliot scooch over to her and wrap his arms around her, whispering apologies in advance in her ear.

Neither one of them slept a wink that night. They could only guess the number of minutes they had until 12 o'clock rolled around.


	3. Force

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated. Trying to keep up with school :) Thanksgiving break is coming up soon and then I'll be able to write more. As you know these characters aren't mine, they're Dick Wolfs. Don't like don't read!**

November 14

Both of their suspicions that it was 12 o'clock or at least getting close were realized when the door swung open. Joham stood there with a smug look on his face.

"Good morning folks." He said something disgustingly cheery in his voice. It made their stomachs churn that he was finding something enjoyable at this experience. "Now the party is going to start!" He approached their bodies, Elliot's still wrapped around Olivia's. He yanked her arm, pulling her forcefully away from the protection of his arms. He grunted in the force of his actions.

"Don't hurt her you son of a bitch!" Elliot's voice growled from the other side of the room. He'd gotten up with his fists clenched. Anger was surging through his veins seeing Olivia being yanked around that way. Of course she could've kicked his ass in a second, but she knew better then to risk fighting a crazy guy with a gun. Joham chuckled, which was not how Elliot expected his reaction would be. He expected him to draw his gun at least.

"Its you thats going to hurt her." Joham corrected. Elliot's body was twitching to get his hands wrapped around Joham's neck. "Now I'm going to instruct you one step at a time, so you don't get lost." He said like he was explaining to a toddler how to use the toilet. Except Elliot wasn't a toddler trying to figure out a toilet. He was a man being forced to hurt his partner. He wanted to stop this with every fiber of his being, but oh god, if Joham got so mad he took out his gun on Liv... The thought burnt the warning not to piss Joham off through his skull.

Joham was digging his nails into Olivia's arm causing her to wince, but not cry out. Not yet at least. He had placed his other hand on her shoulder and was painfully pushing it down. She got the message that he wanted her kneeling so she let her legs give out. Her knees hit the concret ground painfully and she briefly wondered if she would need to go to a hospital after this. Unless she was dead, then she would go to the morgue. Unless they never found her body. Liv didn't get a chance to imagine farther before she felt a stinging slap across her face.

"Bitch!" Joham snarled at Olivia disgust filling his voice. "This guy over here is going to show you what a real man is!" He ushered for Elliot to come over. He did so in a mannar that suggested he wasn't exactly too keen on doing so. "Slap her." He ordered Elliot once he'd finally stopped in front of Olivia's keeling body. Elliot willed himself not to. He couldn't slap her face. Her beautiful face. He not only didn't want to, he didn't know if he physically could. You don't just slap a woman you've trusted with your life for fourteen years. "Slap her, or I shoot her." Joham growled and Elliot saw him retrive the gun from his pocket once more. Elliot wondered briefly if he would ever be given the chance to snatch the gun from Joham. "Slap her!" Joham screamed. Elliot took back a shaking hand not wanting to do this, but the pressure of the gun against Liv's head was enough to get him to action.

"Just fucking slap me, Elliot." Liv growled to Elliot when he hesitated to bring it across her face. He squeezed his eyes shut and slammed his palm forcefully across her face. A stinging sensation shot up his arm, but he barely noticed. All he noticed was the way she whimpered when it happened.

"Again." Ordered Joham. Elliot obliged, but not without the hesitation he displayed before. The same jolt made its way up his arm when his palm made contact with her beautiful face, but all he could focus on was his scheming plans in his head for finding a way out of this. Any way. Joham had released his death grip on Olivia's shoulder and was rummaging for something in his pocket. The sound of clinking metal was enough for them both to realize he was going to handcuff her. So she couldn't fight back. He withdrew them and with a fast movement the cuffs were tightly around her wrists behind her back.

"Now your going to beat her." Joham growled angrily from his throat. "Like my mother beat me." Elliot's body tensed and he suddenly got very, very scared. Not scared as the way he was before, scared like when he was a child and his father would beat him endlessly until Elliot gasping for breath, would beg him to stop. This kind of scared was confusion and overpowerment. There was nothing he could do, he just had to do what he was told. Before Elliot thought about what he was doing, he brought back his fist and slammed it into Olivia's cheek causing her to fall from her knees from the force. Joham grinned. "Thats good." Elliot got down on his knees next to Liv and landed a punch in her stomach causing the wind to get knocked out of her. She curled into a ball coughing, trying to protect her internal organs from getting any more pummled.

"Kick her." Joham told him, glee present in his voice. Elliot stood once more and kicked her feeling the muscle from her stomach on his bare foot. It hurt him as well as her. He brought back his foot once more and kicked her, more forcefully then the first time. A small whimper was heard from her, but he proceeded to bring it back for a third kick. He didn't know why he was doing this so easily. It was killing him on the inside knowing how much he was hurting her, but for some reason beating her came easier then he thought. Perhaps it was his survival instinct to oblige to Joham's command, knowing it might lead them to safety in the end. Soon enough Elliot was kicking Olivia's stomach in a hard, controlled slams leaving an equal amount of time in between each. He heard her start to sob quietly from the pain, but he convinced himself she would be okay if he just continued.

"Overpower her." Joham whispered in happiness after a few minutes of him kicking her. Elliot didn't know what he meant by this, but had a hunch from his earlier explanation of him raping her. Elliot knelt down beside her and pried her out of the curled up position she was in. The place where he had slapped her was red and swollen and he knew by the way she cringed that her stomach must have been covered in bruises. Elliot saw the absolute terror reflected in her eyes as he swung his leg over her, pinning her down.

"El, it's okay." She squeaked not sounding okay at all.

"Kiss her." Joham yelled from behind them. "Make her beg for you to stop." Elliot heard him heavily breathing, like this was stimulating his arousol. Elliot looked into her brown eyes. Silently she was pleading for him to stop, to let him shoot her. If they ever got out of here alive, which she doubted, she would never be able to look him in the eyes again. Elliot leaned in, feeling her hot unsteady breaths against his face. He wanted to cradle her and tell her he loved her. That he never meant for any of this to happen. He lowered his lips against hers and she retreated a little. It was all part of the act, but Elliot didn't know that. He pulled away and looked at her silently pleading for her to forgive him for what he was about to do.

It was in this moment he was looking into her eyes scared to death that she would hate him forever, that they didn't notice Joham leave the room. The thing that snapped them back to reality was the big metal door slamming shut leaving them alone. Elliot pulled away from her body slightly, rocking back on his heals. He didn't climb off of Liv.

"Liv, I'm so sorry." Elliot managed to choke out. It was hard not to burst into tears at the look of dispair on Liv's face. She felt like she was going to die. Liv just shook her head steadily, convincing herself that it would all be over soon enough.

"Do what he says Elliot. Just do what he says." She told him in a steady voice a bit of her confidence coming back. If they just learned how to handle a situation like this, where they were held captive and forced to beat their partner, things could've been much easier. The seconds ticked by before Joham entered once more carrying three distinguishably frightening things in his hands: a whip, a metal pot with something boiling inside, and two pills nestled between his fingers. He lay the whip and pot down on the floor and approached Elliot who was still on Olivia. He handed him a pill.

"Take it. It'll help you get hard." Joham told him as he tossed back his own head with the other pill. Elliot stared at it for a moment. Truth be told he would never find any pleasure of hurting Liv, therefore the chances of him getting hard naturally were scarce, but being forced to take a pill for it was humiliating. Finally he tossed his head back feeling the large pill slide down his throat. Once the pill had slowly found its way to his stomach, Joham had already picked up the whip carefully in his hands, turning it over and muttering something to himself. Liv's body was quivering, knowing that soon enough she'd be expecting excruciating pain. "Get off her." Joham told Elliot jerking his thumb away from Liv's body. Elliot climbed off of her, only slightly relieved that he wasn't being forced to overpower her yet. Joham took a step closer to Liv. Then another. And another. Until he was standing right above her with the whip shaking excitedly in his hand.

He brought it down with a crack. Her scream was the only evidence that he'd just whipped her because it happened so fast. The whip had split open her tee-shirt exposing the long, thin, red line that was now painfully welting on her stomach. Again he brought the whip down feeling pleasure as it hit the softness of her skin, splitting it open once more. Liv squeezed her eyes shut ready for more pain, but nothing came.

Elliot had jumped on top of Joham his fists pummeling his whole body, not caring what he did only that he hurt him badly. Elliot felt his fist connect with Joham's nose and the sickening crack of him breaking it. Joham was letting out struggle induced grunts and when he felt the blood pouring out of his nose, anger instead of fear rose up inside of him. While one of his hands flung around trying to hit Elliot back, the other was searching in his jacket pocket for his gun. Joham found it quickly and whipped it out, pressing it against Elliot's stomach.

Elliot froze. A feeling of pride swelled up inside of Joham seeing Elliot's panicked face that he'd just screwed up big time. Elliot had stood up and was now backing up slowly with his hands held up in surrender.

"Apologize you god damn asshole." Joham ordered as he too, got up off the ground and brushed himself up, blood still gushing from his nose. Elliot silently mumbled a barely audible apology with his eyes glued on the gun Joham was still holding out. "What?" Joham asked loudly and full of force. Elliot's eyes flickered up to Joham's.

"I'm sorry." Elliot said again, louder this time.

"Your bitch is going to pay for that." Joham said, his eyes glistening with horrible thoughts. Elliot's blue eyes widened. More panic pulsed through his veins. Oh god no. He didn't want Liv to get hurt.

"No, wait!" Elliot cried. "No, you can hurt me." Joham just glared at him with hungry hateful eyes.

"You're the one whose going to be hurting her." He growled in a reminder to Elliot. "Take off your boxers." He demanded to Elliot. Elliot stared at him for a second, the realization that he was demanding him to strip not sinking in. "Take them off!" Joham now shouted, obviously becoming quite angry with Elliot not following his directions.

Elliot stood for a moment not sure what to do, then he remembered through the fog of his mind that Joham had a gun and would most likely shoot either one of them. He tugged at the waistband of his boxers and let them fall around his ankles. Embarrassment and humiliation filled him. To his horror the viagra was working and his penis was unknowingly becoming harder and harder. Joham grabbed Olivia forcefully where she was still recovering from the whipping on the floor. She squeaked in pain and he rans his hands over the irritated red lines he'd made with the whip. Her usually beautiful brown eyes full of wisdom and bravery were squeezed shut in panic. It seemed unreal that Olivia Benson was here, now, scared for her own life forcing her own eyes shut so she wouldn't have to look at her exposed partner. Elliot could tell through the blurry vision being clouded by tears that Liv was shaking. Badly.

"Open your eyes." Joham told Olivia in a soft voice, fury still present in his voice. Liv let out a whimper and obliged slowly letting her teary eyes flutter open trying not to focus on Elliot standing not four feet in front of her. "I want you to make him feel good." Joham whispered to her obviously getting off at the fact that both of them were scared to death.

Elliot looked into Olivia's unfocused eyes pleading with her to not hate him forever. They both knew fully what he meant by 'feel good' and they sure as hell didn't want to participate in that if that wasn't obvious from the start.

"Tell her you want to feel good." Joham told Elliot squeezing Olivia's arm painfully causing her to bite her lip sharply and draw a bit of blood.

"I want you to make me feel good." Elliot said, his voice shaking.

"You heard him!" Joham exclaimed, amusement present in his voice. "Make him feel good." He forcefully shoved Liv down onto the concrete by Elliot's feet. Liv let out a small sob, clearly trying to hide the emotional and physical pain she was in. The last thing she wanted was for Elliot to see her in this much pain even though it was inevitable. "MAKE HIM FEEL GOOD!" Joham screamed behind them. Liv looked up at him as a hot tear streaked down her beautiful face.

"I'm sorry." Elliot whispered to her as she placed a trembling hand on his dick. He felt a bolt of guilt, not pleasure, surge through his body. This wasn't how he imagined Liv, not in a million years. She gently massaged him, her eyes were lowered to the floor in shame as a continuous river of tears dripped off of her nose.

"Put your mouth on him." Joham ordered his voice surprisingly soft. Liv looked up at Elliot and their eyes connected. His blue eyes pleaded with her trying to say without words that he wished this never happened. That he loved her and would never do anything to hurt her. Her brown eyes were full of fear. Fear and tears. He wanted to hug her tightly and just let Joham kill them both, but he wouldn't let Joham kill her. He couldn't. He loved Liv way to much for that.

Liv took a deep, shuddering breath and took him in her mouth muttering, 'it's okay,' weakly. Literally any other situation when they weren't being held at gunpoint to have sex, he would've enjoyed it. Any other situation would mean that they wouldn't be here and he tried with every fiber of his being to think about that. Alas he couldn't.

Joham watched in pleasure. He felt himself starting to get more and more aroused. The way her lips traveled up and down him made him shiver in anticipation. He wanted them to do more, but the teasing sensation that he felt was definitely pleasurable. He wanted them to suffer the way he did every day of his life. Knowing that Olivia Benson was the detective that had arrested his father and uncovered the truth. The truth about his home and his mother. A feeling of anger ripped through him and he lept forward at Olivia. She yelped as he tore her from Elliot and ripped her shirt off, exposing her breasts. He slapped her forcefully causing her to cry out. Again and again he slapped her, punched her making her feel the unexplainable pain he had felt for twelve long, long years. By the time the ringing in his ears stopped and his impulsive instincts to make her pay for his father. And for everything.

Joham climbed off of her and saw her bloody and shaking. He was breathing heavily and felt a slight urge to rip her pants off and fuck her, but he had to resist that urge. She needed Elliot to fuck him. That would screw her up the most. Him too for that matter.

Elliot's heart was racing with adrenaline. His muscles hurt from keeping himself in place from trying to kill Joham with his bare hands, which he knew would only lead to death. Joham was glaring down at her body clearly happy at the damage he had caused her: a black eyes, bloody nose, red scratches, and bruises. She was curled up in a ball, not really attempted to hide her sobs of pain anymore. It took him not even a minute before Joham yanked her up by the wrists her legs flailing in her pajama bottoms.

Liv felt him toss her on the soft texture and fabric of the bed and metal consuming one of her wrists, tightly. She tugged at it weakly her eyes still temporarily blinded from the beating she had taken. Everything was swimming in her eyes and she was almost certain that she had a severe concussion. She sensed that he had left her side and took the chance to try and cover her exposed chest as much as possible. Liv knew Elliot could probably see her and she didn't want him to see her this way even though he had seen her viciously attacked and forced to perform oral sex on him.

She just wanted this to be over, even though she had no idea how that would happen. Joham was in control, he had a gun, but she wasn't about to give up. Not yet.

A moment later she felt a warm hand on her pulling the soft fabric of her pants down her long legs. She heard Elliot's panicked voice in front of her, but far away, pleading, begging. She couldn't completely understand him, but she knew what was coming next. Or she thought she did.

"God, your beautiful." Joham whispered to her as he ran his hands over the thin fabric of her underwear and moving up to cup her breasts. He squeezed them painfully causing her to gasp loudly in pain. What she felt next was far from what she expected. Searing hot wax dripped down her stomach causing her skin to boil extremely painfully. Liv screamed out in agony. It felt like her skin was on fire which it sort of was.

"Stop!" She screamed. "Please just stop!" Joham chuckled in return and rubbed in the gooey, hot substance all over her. Tears stung her face as she cried and felt a familiar feeling of lightheadedness. All she wanted was to get out of this. To leave. To be with Elliot alone and fix their relationship that was obviously, now, damaged. She tried to imagine what would happen when they were found. Would they ever be able to look at each other the same way? Would she even be able to work in the precinct with the people she loved so much looking at her with eyes of pity. A life now so broken that she might as well be dead.

It seemed as if hours had gone by.

Perhaps it was the cold steal of the metal pinching her wrists that woke her up from the daze she was in. It could've also been the contant aching of her body, although she had gone numb a while ago. The air was humid, but cool wrapping a blanket of perspiration around her heaving body. She couldn't find the strength to take in a full breath. She just couldn't. Every time she thought about what he'd made him do. The way Elliot's eyes looked pleadingly into hers, begging her for forgiveness for what he was about to do. She'd screamed bloody murder, sobbing, taking in heaving gasps of breath trying to push him away from her.

"El, it's okay..." She whimpered the lie one last time before squeezing her eyes shut, not wanting to see him, the man she loved for fourteen long years of her life, overpower her like that. Forcing her to do something she fought against everyday.


	4. Is this the end?

**A/N: Thank you all so much for your reviews! I'm not going to have him hurting her after this chapter, so don't worry! As you know they aren't mine, they're Dick Wolf's! **

November 14

Olivia's head was swarming with images. Some good, some bad. Most of them were memories of her past with Elliot. The way they'd always saved each other's asses even when they knew they were in deep shit. It began with her childhood though.

Her mother. The verbal abuse. Calling her an 'ugly whore' and 'worthless.' She remembered when she asked her mother about who her father was. Her mother's face retorted into a look of hate and anger. She responded to the question with a slap across Olivia's face. Olivia was only three. That was the first and last time she ever asked her mother about her father. It was when she ten or eleven when her mother told her about being raped. She told Olivia the story while she was drunk, and broke down into tears. Olivia didn't know what to do, so she just tried to comfort her. Her mother hit her across the face. After that night Olivia never attempted to talk to mother about rape again and she learned to fend for herself, to stay out of the house. The day that Olivia told her mother she was engaged and the bottle smashed on the wall next to her, fear had surged through her veins afraid that she would end up like her mother. Helpless, broken not even worth the life anymore.

The images melted into Elliot's face. The way he smiled at her if they talked late into the night. Over the past few weeks he'd begun to open up to her, told her his feelings about Kathy and the kids. She remembered the way his face had been worried when he told her how he thought his kids might not want to be part of his life anymore. Liv comforted him and told him that it would take time, but they would all adjust to the divorce. She could tell he was holding back tears and disappointment overwhelming her when he excused himself from the small little coffee shop.

Then she thought of Mark. How when they used to have sex, which to be honest wasn't very often, she thought of Elliot. And as horrible as that sounded she knew she was in love with him. But she knew he would never feel the same way. They were partners nothing more.

Now they were more obviously. Now they were something that neither could really even describe. Elliot was the torture device being performed on the innocent victim, Olivia. To be honest Olivia was happy that she wasn't really aware of what was happening to her. Well she was, but the flashbacks were doing a good job of keeping her out of it.

In reality Elliot was inside of Liv, moving gently, tears streaming down his face. She was in front of him her eyes open staring blankly at the ceiling, muttering to herself and occasionally whimpering in pain. Whenever she would Elliot would stop and ask her if she was okay. He never got a response from her, but he got one from Joham for sure. A gun barrel digging into his back was the only thing that kept him going.

In fact he was trying to focus on the steady increased breathing of Joham as he pleasured himself behind them, moaning disgustingly. Elliot wasn't getting _any _pleasure out of doing this. At all. He wanted to die because he knew how badly he was hurting Olivia, but he just couldn't lay down and let Joham kill them both. He wouldn't leave Olivia alone with him. Not in a million years.

"Elliot..." Liv moaned in pain. "It's gonna be okay. You know they'll get used to it. You're not to blame." This was the first thing Olivia had said clearly. He figured she was talking about his kids. He couldn't bare to think of them right now or the fact that she was comforting him, the monster who was raping her.

"Funny how she's comforting you; the asshole who's raping her." Joham spoke his thoughts in a pant behind them. "I thought you'd be a gentleman and shut her up." He said. Elliot didn't stop moving. He wanted this to be over, he tried to ignore the searing pain in his lower body as he fought to control his urge to jump off of Olivia and smack Joham, but the gun. He had to think of the gun he had safely in his pocket.

He then noticed Joham approach Olivia's terrorized face. Elliot didn't know if she saw him standing above her still rubbing his dick, but if she did she didn't show it.

"I told you to make her shut up!" Joham roared and before Elliot could try to oblige to his command, Joham swung his fist across Olivia's face. Hearing the smack made Elliot tense up, but not stop. He felt his orgasm coming as much as he didn't want to. He went a little fast, but not harder, he didn't want to hurt her. It took him a few seconds for him to spill his seed inside of her, his body quivering as he finished. He pulled out of her and collapsed onto the floor, falling off of the bed. The guilt was overwhelming. One glance up at her broken and abused body pushed him over the edge. He emptied the contents of his stomach all over the floor. He had treated her like a whore. He was a monster.

He heard Joham groaning and moaning and looked up in time to see him release his liquid from his penis on Olivia's chest. It was then that he lost all control of his body. His fists and his legs. He never felt this angry in his whole entire life. Not even before. Seeing him use Olivia like that like it just killed him. He didn't think, his whole mind was blank. All he wanted to do was make Joham cry and bleed. Beg for his life like they both had. He needed to see him dead.

He tackled him to the floor not caring about anything anymore. His fists went flying to his face, his stomach, his balls causing him to double over coughing. Then the image of the gun crept into his mind. The gun, he needed to get the gun. When Joham was jacking off he hadn't bothered to take off his shirt of jacket, just his pants. Elliot easily found the gun and pressed it against Joham's temple wanting so badly to squeeze the trigger and see the light leave his eyes.

"How does it feel to struggle?" Elliot demanded from Joham. "HOW DOES IT FEEL?!" He screamed as tears streamed down his face. He punched him in the mouth with his other hand and felt a few teeth break out from under it. Joham screamed in agony.

It was that very scream that woke Olivia from the trance she was petrified in by the concussion. Woke was a bit of an overstatement. She could finally feel that there wasn't anyone on top of her anymore. Her head was still spinning in circles and she could just barely make out the two figures on the floor. Elliot was on top of Joham screaming and hurting him.

"El." She managed to get out with a gasp. Elliot heard her say this and his eyes flickered up to her, concern laced in them. Then he felt the pain. It was something sharp jammed in his hip. Elliot cried out in pain and saw the knife wedged shallowly in his flesh. He heard Olivia scream something next to him, but the emotions of the moment took over him. Screw torture. Joham was going to die.

BANG.

Silence.

Elliot stared at the body of Joham before him. Blood was seeping out of the bullett wound in the front and back of his head. A small puddle of blood was forming on the grey floor. He had killed Joham. He was dead. He couldn't and wouldn't hurt them anymore. Relief. That was the first thing he felt. Finally it was over. Then the whole realization of the situation hit him. It was far from over. He jumped off of Joham, still holding the gun firmly in his hand. Still pointed at Joham's limp body. He ignored the burning sensation in his hip. It was shallow, nothing a bandaid couldn't fix. According to him at least.

Olivia. He had to get Olivia. He whirled around to face his sobbing partner. Elliot quickly stumbled over to her, thankfully finding his boxers on the floor and pulling them over his legs. She was squirming trying to cover herself in front of him and he couldn't help but feel disgusting as she tried to shy away from him. He took the soft blanket sprawled out on the bed and covered her gently with it.

"Liv, are you okay?" He asked, already knowing the fatal answer. She just nodded weakly. Of course she wasn't! "I'm going to find the keys for the cuffs." He said ushering his hands to the steal still wrapped around her wrist. It took him seconds of fumbling around in Joham's pockets to find the key and clumsily jam it into the lock. It clicked open and he swung them off of her. She collapsed crying into his chest. Elliot locked his arms behind her and he too began to let more tears escape from his eyes. Neither one of them could believe what had just happened.

"Elliot, I'm so sorry!" Olivia cried prying herself away from him and eyeing his stab wound where the small pocket knife was still wedged. Elliot looked at her with concern and confusion. Why the fuck was she apologizing to him? It was his fault this happened.

"Liv, don't you dare apologize to me." Elliot said a little more forcefully then he would've liked. "This is not your fault! Do you understand? He's dead. We're going to be okay." Olivia just tried to imagine what would've happened if there had been a different outcome. She wondered what would be happening right now if this had never happened. She didn't even know what time of day it was, only that there were cops swarming around New York City looking for them.

"We need to phone help." Elliot broke the silence finally. Olivia nodded in obvious agreement. Elliot spotted her clothes in a crumpled heap a few feet away and scooped them up and handed them to her. She looked at him with her tired, but still scared, eyes and silently thanked him. He understood her without words as they both always had. This came quite in handy as Elliot was sure if he spoke much more he would vomit once more. He stood up shakily blood now trickling down his legs soaking through his boxers from the shallow wound. He eyed it and applied more pressure around the knife still wedged in him. He didn't want to risk taking it out and loose even more blood.

"El, I can do it." Olivia stood up with him the blanket still wrapped firmly around her. He glanced up at her to see panic in her eyes. They both knew that it wasn't because she felt she could but because she didn't want to be alone with Joham's dead body.

"We can both go, Liv." Elliot said. "But you should get dressed first." He reminded her. The last thing he wanted was for Olivia feeling violated again if the blanket accidentally fell away from her. She nodded as Elliot turned his back to her. He knew she wouldn't want to be left alone. But he also knew he couldn't be left alone either.

As Olivia pulled the light, but torn, fabric of her shirt over her stomach she winced in pain as it rubbed her bruises and cuts. The same thing happened with her pants, but she let out a slight whimper when it hit an especially sensitive slice on her upper thigh. Elliot turned involuntarily, forgetting that she was still changing.

"Liv," Elliot said offering his hand to her once she finished pulling the waistband over her hips, "everything's going to be okay." He knew it was a lie. In fact everything was the exact opposite of okay except for the fact that Joham was dead. He just wanted Olivia to have a light at the end of her tunnel, but she knew as well as he did that it was a lie.

"It's not Elliot." She said softly.

As Liv waited outside in the snowy cold air, hoping the freezing snow digging into her curled up feet would numb some of the pain. The sun was just starting to set and colors of purple and pink danced across the iced over surface of the ground. Elliot was on the phone with the police inside right now. The shock was now starting to wear off and she secretly wished that it wasn't. She liked it better when she didn't have those images of Elliot on top of her in her head.

Knowing that Joham was inside dead though made her feel the slightest bit better, but not by much. The fact that it could've never happened, that right now Elliot and Olivia could've been safely working on a case in the precinct was nerve racking and made her insides boil.

She heard the door of the cabin swing open behind her, but she didn't have the energy to turn around to face Elliot. His feet were crunching against the frozen snow and they came to a rest beside her, but not right next to her, not wanting to startle her.

"You should come inside, its cold out here." Elliot muttered weakly. Olivia just looked at the glistening snow in front of her and shook her head.

"The last thing I want to do is go back in there." Olivia told him her voice soft. Elliot sighed and had to agree with her. That cabin was going to be haunting their dreams for quite a while, maybe forever.

"The ambulance should be here in about a half an hour." Elliot said trying to maybe let her know that she wouldn't have to be near him for much longer. He didn't know what to feel right now. Part of him wanted to be there for her and that was most of him. He didn't want her to have to go through this alone, but another part of him knew she would hate him for what he did to her. Elliot just wanted for her to feel safe no matter what it took.

"Okay." Olivia said her voice quivering slightly, trying to hold back tears. All she wanted was to forget what had happened.

Elliot sat down beside her and wrapped his warm arms around her shoulders. She buried her head into his shoulder letting her tears spring free once more. Her nails dug into his back as she cried and shook begging him to forgive her. He knew she was feeling guilty for it, although he had no idea why. All he could do was sooth her, tell her it was the end.

But it was far from the end.

**A/N: Next chapter the team comes into the story and do you want Alex or Casey to be the ADA? I want you guys to choose because I like them both a lot! If you have any other suggestions I would love to hear them! **


	5. I'm Fine

**A/N: I literally love your reviews so much! Thank you! I chose Alex for the ADA in the story because I thought that her and Liv had a closer relationship then Casey, so sorry to everyone who wanted Casey :((( So happy I get a brief break for Thanksgiving to write a few chapters. Anyway someone asked if Liv was on birth control. The answer is yeah, but I think they're might be some family related themes way way into the story if I get that far. Characters belong to Dick Wolf. Love you guys so much **

November 14

When Olivia and Elliot finally saw the lights of the ambulances and police cars in the distance of the trees they could honestly have cried out in joy. It seemed like that they had been trapped in their own personal hellhole for days even though the reality of the situation was that they were gone for maybe 19 or 20 hours. That was enough time to inflict enough emotional and physical damage on both of them equally.

When the medics had actually gotten a look at the both of them and the way the knife was still wedged into Elliot's hip, thankfully still shallow, they flipped out a little. The whisked them off into the ambulances tending to their injuries. At one point through Olivia's blurred vision, as the concussion was acting up again, she saw one of the young medics apply a cold gel to the deep whips on her stomach and she hissed in pain. The sensation was burning and it felt as if something were bubbling up inside of her skin.

Elliot was in a different ambulance and if the two of them weren't both so god damn exhausted they would've fought to be with each other. The whole time the nurses swarmed around Elliot in the cramped space in the back of the ambulance he couldn't get Olivia off his mind. He tried to imagine a normal outcome for the whole situation and was scared as hell when he couldn't.

They managed to safely extract the knife from Elliot's side, as shallow as it was, and clean the wound throughly much to Elliot's dislike. Elliot did appreciate them to talking to him the whole time explaining each thing they did to him: bandage his cut hands from punching Joham in the face, pour some horrible liquid into his wound to clense it, and cleaning any other cuts he'd retained in the struggle which was sadly many.

The medics tried to explain to Olivia as well what they were doing to her, but she was in a slightly worse state then Elliot, only because of the fact she couldn't comprehend anything anyone was saying at all. To her it sounded like a bunch of gibberish and buzzing. Of course she was confused, and scared, as hell, but at the same time she knew what was happening to her with the memories of Joham pretty much branded into her mind. The way he slapped her around and nearly killed her using just his fists.

One of the medics gently moved the fabric of her shirt near her breasts to examine any other damage caused there which was the wax still partially plastered on her boiled skin. Olivia flinched and tried to pull her shirt down but there were so many people around her that were saying things she couldn't understand. She needed to get out of there and find Elliot.

"Please, s-stop." Olivia said with a shaking, unclear voice. "I-I need to see my partner." The man, or woman, tried to move the shirt again saying something to someone. She flinched even more this time now practically begging them to leave her alone and let her go.

"I-I just need to see him a-and file a report then we can do this." Olivia begged and when the medics seemed to not care, which of course they did, they were just trying to tend to the wounds, she pulled her legs to her chest and told them that they didn't need to hurt her anymore.

The young woman tending to Olivia's chest gave the older man next to her a glance and they agreed to give her a sedative to knock her out and make the painful confusion disappear. It worked and in long seconds Olivia was suddenly falling from the sky into a nice warm bed, asleep peacefully.

**-O-O-O-**

November 15

Elliot awoke to the sound of steady breaths of several people beside him. It took a moment for his eyes to flutter open and adjust to the dim light of the hospital room. The darkness of the night clearly outside didn't help him focus on the six small lumps curled up in balls on chairs and the floor around him. He easily figured they were Kathy and the kids. It took him nearly a second to recall all of the fatal details of the night before that. Olivia. That's really all he felt he should be focusing on right now, and he couldn't stop.

Someone fidgeted uncomfortably on a chair nestled beside his bed and he sat up eager to see who it was. Maureen's blue eyes looked up at him and she let out a muffled cry and flung herself into her father's arms, sobbing. She blubbered something he couldn't quite understand.

"Dad," She whimpered a string of words he could finally hear, "are you okay?" Elliot let out a laugh that he didn't really mean, but it might bring Maureen to comfort that he was okay.

"I'm fine, Maureen." Elliot told her, sighing, knowing fully well that he wasn't. Maureen pulled back away from her father, brushing a piece of stray blonde hair away from her face.

"You can't possibly be fine!" She exclaimed louder than necessary causing the other five motionless lumps in the room to stir, snapping to wake instantly to see their injured father and ex-husband. A choruses of "Daddy!," and "Elliot," were heard in the next moment and he was instantly suffocated by the bone crushing hugs of his children, Eli in particular, which caused a bit of discomfort to the bandage snuggly securing his stab wound in his hip.

"Oh my god, Dad!" He heard Kathleen's voice exclaim and her blue eyes peaked over at him. As much as he loved his children he wasn't really in that kind of mood to see them as he was still getting over the fact that he had pretty much raped his partner and she was probably in much worse shape then he was.

"Kathleen," Elliot breathed in relief seeing her there, "I'm just going to say this once more; I'm fine." The lie was becoming more and more easier to say as the desire to see how Olivia was doing became greater.

"How the hell can you say you're fine?" Kathy's voice broke over the sniffling of the children. "You were held fucking captive and stabbed! How can you say you're fine?" Her voice was full of anger and not a bit of understanding. He felt like she was accusing him of cheating on her or something insane like that. Truth was he never cheated on Kathy as much as he wanted to, but after they had gotten divorced about a month ago, she was beginning to blame him for almost everything: The kids getting a bad grade, unwanted people calling either one of their houses, or something stupid like that.

"Kathy," Elliot began just wanting her to shut up. This wasn't about her, or him, it was about reassuring the kids he was going to be fine. "I'm really fine." He glared at her hoping that she would get the message to shut of the act for the sake of little Eli's pleading blue eyes. Kathy seemed to, thankfully, get what he was trying to send and she shut down crossing her arms and pursing her lips as the kids resumed to attacking their father with hugs and kisses.

"Jesus Dad we thought you were never gonna wake up!" Dickie exclaimed a bit of anxiety clear in his voice which he was trying to hide. The last thing Dickie wanted was for his father to think he was weak and couldn't handle a situation like this when in all reality he had been sobbing like a baby the whole time. They all had.

"Guys, I'm here! Safe and sound." Elliot said. Elizabeth let out a snort a laid a gentle kiss on the side of her father's head.

"I'm glad your okay, Daddy." She said not daring to let go of his hand, afraid that he may somehow disappear again. Elliot gripped her hand tightly back reassuringly letting her know he wasn't going anywhere.

"Daddy! You made the bad guy die!" The five year old Elliot chimed in sounding especially happy that his father had managed to make the man pay for what he had done. Elliot ruffled his untidy blonde hair with his free hand and pulled him close to his chest.

"Yeah, buddy. I did."

**-O-O-O-**

Olivia woke up dizziness surrounding her, not sure where she was. The whole room was covered over in some sort of fog and it made her head ache with even the slightest thought of looking at any paperwork or anything with words for that matter. The lights in the room were dimly lit obviously for the reason that it was night, and she saw a figure sitting upright reading a paper, silently flipping the pages. She recognized that blonde hair and tall frame; Alex.

Olivia took no time in bolting upright in the small hospital bed nearly ripping the IV out of her arm. Alex's head snapped up, looking startled at the sudden movement, and the paper fell with a flutter out of her hands.

"Alex." Olivia croaked out groggily. She could feel the gross lining of mucus inside of her lungs and her whole body felt like it was run over by a bus, twice. The worst part was her head which she could feel was wrapped tightly in a bandage. It hurt like hell and she knew almost positively that she looked as bad as she felt.

Alex stood up from the cushioned chair she was sitting in and rushed over to Olivia's side, concern swimming in her light blue eyes.

"Liv," Alex's voice cracked seeing her friend like this; so damaged and broken. Neither one of them knew what to say in that exact moment. Alex wanted so badly to tell her that she was lucky to have gotten out of there away from that psychopath and that she was so glad she was okay, but she knew that Liv probably wasn't even thinking about that right now. In fact there was a large chance she didn't remember much of what happened due to the concussion. Perhaps it was better that way, but then again Alex herself would want to know why she had woken up in a hospital with bandages covering her stomach and head.

"Alex," Olivia managed to squeak out finally, "where's Elliot?" The question rang out in Liv's head after she said it like she was being beaten all over again. Then the memories swarmed back to her head. Shit.

The beating that Elliot inflicted on her by force. She remembered the way he had quietly whispered his sincere apology and she understood why he had to. It still hurt her though, that he was being forced to take over her body like that something that she trusted him never to do. Ever.

She clearly visualized the way he had sex with her. It was gentle because she knew he was trying not to hurt her, even though that was basically impossible in a situation like that. Liv's eyes brimmed with tears as she remembered the small knife wedged into his side. Her eyes grew wider and a tear slide down her bruised cheek.

"Alex, is he okay?" She choaked out managing not to break down into tears quite yet. Alex took Olivia's hand in her own soft one a squeezed it assuring her.

"Yeah sweetheart, he's fine. He's with Kathy and the kids." Alex told her comfortingly. Olivia let out a shuddering steam of air in relief, her lips quivering with the brief scare that he wasn't alive. Liv curled her knees up closer to her chest under the thin linin sheets and a few more tears streamed down her face. She blinked her eyes furiously trying to make them go away. She hated crying a showing people that she was weak. Now that was three people she had cried in front of.

Alex could tell how Liv was trying to hold back her obvious stress and anxiety, so she sat down on the side of the bed, not letting go of her clammy hand.

"Liv," Olivia's eyes that had been lowered to her lap as she tried to hold on to her remaining pride slowly brought themselves to face Alex's pretty light blue ones. "I think you should talk to a doctor in the morning." Alex said truthfully saying what she felt. The amount of physical abuse Olivia's body had undergone was quite immese, even the doctor had said so. Counting the possible risk of pregnancy was one thing and STD's were a whole other. As far as everyone was concerned Joham had raped her. Not Elliot because Elliot had blacked out shortly after Olivia had therefore they never did get the whole story straight.

"We're also going to need you're statement as soon as you're comfortable." Alex told her happy that they were going to be able to take their time on this now that Joham was dead. "Huang is also coming in the morning if you're up to talking to him." Olivia nodded and bit her lip focused on how the hell she was going to be able to talk to one of her best friends about getting raped and brutally beaten. Speaking of friends...

"Where are Fin, Munch, and Cragen?" Olivia asked curiously. She had no actual desire to see them right now, or anyone else for that matter, but she was surprised they weren't here with her.

"In the waiting room." Alex responded and Olivia's heart sank feeling the slightest bit guilty that she had thought of not wanting to see them when they had so obviously driven all the way from New York City to this unfamiliar hospital somewhere in the Poconos. Alex saw the distress in Liv's eyes and she quickly continued. "They didn't want to come in because they knew you probably wouldn't be up to talking to anyone. I came because you need someone for support." Alex finished with a mumble knowing full well that Olivia didn't have any living family to turn to for help. Elliot was one lucky son of a bitch when it came to support. Liv on the other hand wasn't.

"Thanks, Alex." Olivia muttered really meaning it. Alex and Elliot were probably the two closest people in her life. "Can I do my statement now?" A bit of desperation was present in her voice and Alex knew that she just wanted to get it off her chest. It was something that was common with victims.

"Are you sure you don't wanna wait?" Alex asked her, not wanting her to completely break down even though it was pretty much inevitable. Olivia hesitated before she nodded slowly. If she didn't talk about what she remembered now, then some of those details would be lost. Mind you, the details wouldn't be as important since Joham was dead which was somewhat of a relief to the both of the women.

"Okay. Liv, you know because the crimes were committed up here that I'm not going to be the ADA defending you and you're going to have to talk to different detectives." Alex said looking into Olivia's pained eyes.

A twinge of nervousness shot through Olivia's entire body and she wondered briefly how long the trail would take. She didn't think that she could handle retelling the horrible specifics of the crime over and over again. The only thing that kept her from refusing was the fact that she knew Elliot would want her to. Again she was doing this for someone else, but he was put under just as much pain as she was. Even though the fact that Joham was dead was enough justice for her, Elliot would need actual closure. Even thinking about him in a more casual manner made her heart sink.

"Yeah, I know." Olivia said in a small voice dosed in worry. "I'll be fine."

**A/N: Next chapter the doctors and the team find out the whole story. Liv and Elliot give their statements and there will be a bit of emotional pain in there. Review please :) **


	6. Shock

**A/N: This chapter is kinda short just because it's the one chapter that they're at the hospital and stuff. Anyway leave a review! SVU belongs to Dick Wolf, not me! Please Leave a Review! It makes my life! Thanks to everyone who has kept up with the story so far! **

November 15

The sun was shining rather brightly through the barely-there shades on the huge window that lined Liv's hospital room. As much as the light made the spinning in her eyes subdue a little, she still hated it, because whenever she looked at the sunshine she felt happy. And now looking at it, she was the exact opposite.

"Liv," Alex stood in the doorway with a older looking woman beside her, "this is Dr. Blair. She's going to explain everything to you and then we- you can talk to the detectives for your statement." She explained not breaking eye contact with Olivia as if she was talking to a scared child. Liv just nodded. Dr. Blair stepped forward into the room with her clipboard and cleared her throat.

"Good morning Detective, how are you feeling today?" She asked politely._ Just fucking great. No really I feel like I could fucking fly. What do you think bitch? _Olivia was tempted to shoot these harsh words at her, but she just didn't have the energy plus nothing good would really come out of that.

"I'm fine." Olivia lied to her and Dr. Blair could obviously sense that so she didn't press the topic. She flipped over the pages of her clipboard, glancing down at it.

"Well, Detective, you were in pretty, erm, bad shape when you got here." Dr. Blair started trying to figure out some neutral words to describe her state, "You sustained minor to severe bruising to your face, legs, stomach, back, and arms. The wax that was poured on your chest left you with first degree burns, but I prescribed you some ointment to prevent any pain or possible infection." Dr. Blair said every once in a while letting her bright green eyes glance up to connect with Olivia's assuring her she was being sincere.

"You have a minor concussion, that required 12 stitches. It may leave you with occasional dizziness and recurring headaches that could become quite severe. If you are constantly dizzy or have extremely severe headaches when your released I recommend going to your doctor right away." Dr. Blair said. "I've also prescribed you some medication for that as well that should reduce the pain from the headaches." Olivia nodded a bit a nausea coming over her stomach as she heard the extent of the damage that had been done to her.

"You broke three ribs. Two out of the three were severe and you were close to eternally bleeding which thankfully you didn't." Doctor Blair said with a sense of relief present in her eyes. Of course the explanation of three broken ribs explained the horrible stabbing pains in her sides.

"The whips on your stomach made you loose a considerable amount of blood, but we managed to clean them up. I'm also giving you some ointment for them as well to reduce the risk of infection." Olivia thought Dr. Blair was finished with telling her about her injuries, but she continued speaking flipping over the clipboard and now making full on eye contact with Olivia.

"Detective we didn't get a chance to examine you, but judging by the state you were in, we figured you had been raped. We had to wait for you to wake up in order for you to consent to the examination." Dr. Blair said eyeing Olivia waiting for her to say that it was okay. She stayed silent not wanting to explain what really happened in that room.

"Detective?" Dr. Blair said looking at her with concern when she saw she wasn't responding. "You of all people should know that you have nothing to be ashamed of." Olivia knew for a fact that was true, but it was so different on this side of the fence. As far as she was concerned the person who really raped her was Joham as he was the one who took away all of Olivia and Elliot's power, but in the physical world Elliot had been the one to have sex with her.

"I-I don't need to be examined." Olivia managed to stammar out sounding like a complete idiot. Dr. Blair and Alex just stared at her in disbelief. It felt weird explaining to them that Joham hadn't been the one to rape her, but Elliot had been forced to. It did bring comfort that she didn't have to go through the stress of an examination because she knew Elliot couldn't possibly hurt her sexually.

"So you weren't raped?" Dr. Blair's eyebrows were scrunched together. Olivia sighed and looked at her lap uncomfortably. She knew she would have to tell them one way or another.

"Detective Stabler," Olivia said her voice coming out in a weak squeak, "was forced to have sexual intercourse with me. There was a gun being held to the back of his head and Joham gave him viagra, a-and," Her voice was becoming increasingly louder and panicked as she thought of the fact that they might blame Elliot, "he never would have done it if it hadn't been for the fact that he would've killed us. Please don't think th-" Olivia was cut off by Alex.

"Liv, Liv." Alex said searching her frightened brown eyes with her own crystal ones, "No one's going to blame Elliot." The shock was still seeping through the blonde's veins, but she had to keep a cool head for Liv.

"I would still recommend an exam." Dr. Blair said looking at Olivia with concern. Olivia shook her head with certainty.

"No. I know I didn't get anything from him. I'm on the pill so pregnancy isn't an issue either." Liv's cheeks reddened slightly as she discussed her personal life in front of the two women. Dr. Blair gave her a look that clearly stated that she still should get checked out, but Olivia wasn't about to go through that. Not now.

"Are you sure, Detective?" Dr. Blair asked still coaxing her, not really liking her decision. Olivia nodded, getting sick of being questioned on her judgement. Alex noticed how annoyed Olivia was getting, even though Dr. Blair was just trying to make sure.

"Liv, the detectives from SVU are here for your statement." Alex said in a soft voice. Olivia took a deep breath and nodded. The last thing she wanted was to recall the memories of what had happened. What she really wanted to do was to see Elliot and ask him what was going to happen. For the first time in her life, Olivia Benson was a scared victim.

She was scared because she might loose the only person she'd ever truly loved.

* * *

Elliot sighed heavily as he felt Eli fidget with his short, little arms wrapped around his father's midsection. Mauren, Kathleen, Dickie, Elizabeth, and Kathy were just as content as Eli was which was extremely. Elliot on the other hand felt like crap. He'd been up all night, although he pretended to be asleep for the sake of the kids who all drifted off in a light sleep eventually. Now it was clearly morning out as there was sun streaming through the windows, but that didn't stop his ex and their kids from sleeping on.

"Elliot." He heard a whisper from the doorway and his eyes snapped up to see Fin standing there. Elliot smiled at seeing his friend there looking concerned as hell. He was slightly relieved to see someone from the precinct even though he wasn't exactly up for a chat.

"Hey Man." Elliot whispered back, not entirely sure what to say. It was quite an awkward moment being there knowing fully well that Fin knew what had happened in that room and he wasn't saying a god damn thing about it.

"Uhm, there are some detectives from the SVU up here ready to speak with you." Fin said looking around at the children scattered around the room sleeping peacefully. Elliot sighed. Really he didn't want to talk to anyone except for Olivia, even though he had no idea what he would say to her.

"I'll be right out." Elliot mumbled as he began gently prying Eli's arms from around his stomach. "Can I have some clothes though?" He asked ushering to the hospital gown the nurses had changed him into. He really didn't feel like going out there feeling exposed with just a thin layer of fabric in front of his body.

"Sure." Fin said turning away giving him a sad look as he left.

Even after Elliot managed to free himself from his son's death grip around him and change into the clean pair of sweats Fin had handed him, he still didn't feel ready for this. He didn't feel ready to face what had happened and make it reality. What he did feel ready for was a nice long nap he never had to wake up from.

* * *

"Good Afternoon Olivia." A young woman entered the room who looked about Alex's age with ash brown hair and dark green eyes. Olivia sat up straighter wanting the Detective to think that she was more than capable of answering these questions. She didn't want to come off as a victim even though she fully felt like one. "I'm Detective Stover." She extended a hand to Olivia. It took her a moment to register the gesture before she lightly shook her hand.

"I'm sure that you know the procedure, but this it's going to be much harder on this side of the fence." Detective Stover said in a light and airy voice almost as if she were talking to a child that didn't understand math. Olivia glared at her, liking her less and less as she kept running her mouth.

"I'm well aware of that, _Detective_." Olivia muttered under her breath. Everyone seemed to be pissing her off today which wasn't normal, but considering the fact that she'd been through hell might've added to the cause. Detective Stover didn't seem to notice Olivia's harshness in her words, but Alex sure did. She fidgeted nervously in her chair, not wanting Olivia to get off on the wrong foot with the detectives here.

"Well, I'm just going to ask you what happened, okay?" Detective Stover asked in her annoying voice. Olivia just nodded managing to control her urge to shout at her that she didn't know anything about being a detective or she wouldn't be sounding like this was a frickin walk in the park.

Olivia recalled the whole night in perfect detail; about how she left her door open, about how she and Elliot were forced to have sex, about how he had poured the wax on her chest. Alex was listening in horror in her chair trying to hold back tears for her friend. She had no idea what kind of suffering she was going through telling this to a woman who seemed to have no idea what real pain was. Olivia tried to hide the tears that fell, but it was no use, there were to many of them. Soon enough her eyes were bloodshot and weary and she just wanted to crawl under the covers and sleep. Detective Stover pressed her for every detail and nearly an hour later once she had told her everything she remembered, Liv was ready to go home.

"Please leave." Olivia managed to squeak out once Detective Stover asked her all of the invasive questions she had to. Detective Stover just looked up at her feeling offended, but Alex insisted that Olivia needed sleep so she left. Liv lay her head in her hands and let out shuddering sobs. Alex didn't know if Olivia wanted to be left alone, but she needed to be there anyway for her friend. She hugged Olivia's shaking shoulders and told her that it was over, that Joham was dead and he couldn't hurt them anymore. But she knew that she was wrong because he could hurt her. By just remembering him Liv was plagued into an abyss of darkness of her screams of pain and pleads of mercy. Thoughts of Elliot rolled into her mind. What was he going to do? His kids, Kathy, his job...He had so much more to loose then she did. He had so much more to loose because he had people to love. She was alone in the world.

"Can I go home?" Olivia sobbed into her hands wanting to leave the halls of the hospital that saw so many victims like her everyday. She just wanted to see the walls of her home and it gave her some sense of comfort knowing that she would be safe. Alex nodded to her.

"Sure, honey. You can go home."


	7. Drive

**A/N: This chapter's kinda short :( sorry. I promise the next chapter is going to be a lot more detailed and much better. I'm trying to figure out how they're going to cope with this and how the stories going to evolve smoothly so stick with me :) Please review :D Svu belongs to Dick Wolf **

November 15

It was a long rest of the day for both Olivia and Elliot. It was far more stressful for Elliot telling Detective Anderson, the older male detective, about what he had to do to Liv. Detective Anderson was understanding and assured him he did what was necessary to survive, but Elliot still had that nagging feeling in the back of his mind that it was his fault.

Olivia on the other hand just wanted to go home. She was having a tough time as it was thinking about how she was supposed to face the other members of her team, much less Elliot. Every time Alex asked her if she needed anything, which was often enough, she was tempted to ask to see Elliot. Each time she backed out and convinced herself that he wouldn't want to see her. After all this was her fault.

"Liv," Alex's voice echoed off of her head. She heard it, but she couldn't find the energy in her body to respond. "Olivia, please talk to me." Her soft voice pleaded. Liv just stared at her lap, her eyes involuntarily filling with salty tears. She wanted someone to slap her and to tell her she was being weak. She needed to suck it up and move on with her life. If it hadn't been for her stupid choices she might not be in this situation right now.

"When can I go home?" Olivia asked in a small voice, relieving Alex's worry briefly. It was late in the evening and she was sick and tired of waiting around in the small cramped hospital room. She wanted to go home to her soft warm bed where Elliot had been sleeping only two days prior. She wanted to see Elliot and apologize now that she was in her right mind. All she wanted was for her deranged and tangled mind full of memories she wanted to wipe away to be eased. It was all she wanted right now.

"Liv, I talked to Dr. Blair and she said it might be better if you stayed another day." Alex told her, trying not to sound disappointed as she felt. Alex knew that Olivia just wanted out of here more than anything, and that she would most likely fall into a depression if she was inclosed here much longer, but as Dr. Blair said it would be better if she got the extra day of care.

"Alex, I need to go home." Olivia snapped her eyes flickering up to meet Alex's. She meant it when she said she needed to go home. She wasn't going to be locked up here like Joham had kept her. She wasn't about to let them keep treating her like some weak victim, even though even in her own eyes she felt like own. It was already difficult enough to comprehend the whole situation, but thinking that she had no choice but to stay here for days on end was even more nerve wracking.

"Liv I don't-," Alex saw the pain reflected in Olivia's eyes. It wasn't normal seeing a seasoned detective liket this. It made her feel bad that she was treating her like this. "Okay. I'll tell Dr. Blair, but Liv, Huang's here. I think it would be best if you talked to him on the ride back home. Is that okay?" Alex asked her with concern. At least on the way home she would spend her time not pondering what had happened, but more how she felt. And then when she got home she might be able to sleep a little sounder then she would've if she hadn't talked to Huang. Maybe.

Liv nodded weakly. "Thanks, Alex." She replied meaning it. At least Alex seemed to understand some of the pain that she was going through. When Alex had gone into witness protection, she had felt the same way about it. She had nobody to turn to, nowhere to go, nothing to look forward to except live. That's was how Olivia obviously felt. What Alex had wanted more than anything was to go home, but she couldn't. At least she could give Olivia something that she wanted.

* * *

Elliot sighed deeply. When he had given his statement about what had gone down in that room, it had taken all his might not to break down into tears. He thought back on it and wondered how he'd managed to tell Kathy.

_Detective Anderson watched Elliot intently as he recalled the horrific details of what had happened. He had promised Elliot that the case would go to trail, but it would take some time, especially since Joham was dead. Maybe a month or two considering the fact that Elliot had killed Joham in cold blood. Detective Anderson said Elliot could probably pass it off as self defense because it was. Plus being put through hell at the hands of Joham must've screwed with Elliot's brain. He said it would be best for Elliot to get a lawyer, even though the chances of him winning the trial were extremely high considering what Joham had done to him. _

_"Now can you tell me what you saw or heard when you fell off the bed?" Detective Anderson asked him. Elliot nodded and thought of how sick he felt when he was finished using Olivia. How disgusted in himself he was. Since he had fallen in love with her, he imagined making love to her in the safeness of their own home, her wanting him, not shying away from him like he was some sort of monster. _

_"I heard Joham groaning and moaning and he was ejaculating on her chest." Elliot said with a shiver. Even then the anger of the moment was getting to him. "I don't know what happened. I just lost it. All I wanted to do was make him scream and cry. Next thing I know I was beating the shit out of him and holding the gun to his head." Elliot continued holding back tears. "He stabbed me and I snapped. I shot him." Detective Anderson looked at him with his wise, dark blue eyes and felt a pang of sadness for the younger detective. He leaned forward closer to Elliot and took off his round glasses. _

_"Truth be told, Detective, I would've done the same thing." He almost whispered to him, not exactly wanting to admit that to him, but it was the truth. No matter how many times someone denied it, they probably would've done the same thing. Elliot let out a weak smile. _

_"Elliot." He heard his name from the doorway and craned his neck to see Kathy standing there. She didn't look good. In fact she looked as if she had been crying. Ever since they had gotten their divorce a couple months back he'd heard from the kids that she had been crying a lot. Also that she had been coming home with random guys drunk off her ass. He wanted to have full custody of the kids, but with his job it wouldn't make that much of a difference having a drunk for a parent and having no parent at all. Besides Maureen was there for Eli almost all hours of the day even with her job. _

_"Kath." He said trailing off. He knew she must have heard part of what he was telling Detective Anderson. "Excuse me." Elliot said politely climbing out of bed yanking the IV out of his arm, not caring he was in that god damn hospital gown. He approached her in the doorway carefully taking her hand in comfort. Even though they were divorced and didn't really have any lovey dovey feelings for each other anymore, he knew she must've felt terrible. She had been so close with him for most of her adult life and seeing him that way must've been devastating. _

_"Elliot, what really happened in that room?" Kathy asked blandly just looking into his eyes, her own being hollow. Elliot swallowed. That question haunted him as he explained to her what really happened. Even after an even greater look of horror contorted on her face, Elliot couldn't shake the feeling that he didn't tell her everything. He didn't tell her that he was in love with Olivia. _

* * *

Olivia swallowed nervously as she got in the dark SVU that was parked outside of the apartment. She made sure to get in the backseat as Huang had insisted that she would be able to spread out more and if she needed time alone he could always switch to the passenger seat and leave her alone.

Alex was already in the drivers seat as Liv agreed to have her be the driver considering she might not open up enough in front of any others. It was a good plan considering Liv planned to get home within a few hours, go home, and crawl under the covers never to be seen again. If only it were that simple. Huang entered the back of the car as well and exchanged a smile with Alex as she started the car. Olivia shifted uncomfortably in the itchy scrubs that the hospital had provided for her. Huang turned to face her and crossed his legs like he normally did. He got out his usual notepad and sat back, waiting for Olivia to do the same. She stayed in the same rigid, uptight position, not letting herself sit back against the seat, staring at her lap.

"Olivia, would you like to relax a little bit? We're going to be in here for quite a while." Huang talked to her softly, not wanting to startle her. Liv's eyes flickered up to his. Something about Huang's dark, warm eyes made her feel safer. She bit her inner lip and nodded, leaning slowly back against the seat.

"Okay, so Olivia," Huang began casually, "how are you feeling right now?" He asked simply. Olivia thought for a moment.

"I-I guess I'm feeling calm, now that I'm leaving the hospital." She answered weakly. She didn't really know what else to say. She wasn't 'feeling' anything really right now. Huang nodded.

"Why were you so eager to leave?" He asked. The answer to that question had seemed obvious to her at first, but then she realized because she wanted to go home wasn't a good enough answer.

"I guess because I-I uhm." She stuttered trying to figure exactly why she was so eager to leave. Huang shifted a little in his seat, trying not to seem to impatient with Olivia trying to figure out the question that shouldn't have been so complex. "I mean because I'm tired?" She said questioning her own answer. Huang nodded.

"Do you think it's because Elliot was there." He asked not really as a question more of a leading statement. Olivia thought about that explanation for a moment. She hadn't really wanted to think about Elliot since she had been so anxious to leave, but maybe that was why. Liv nodded.

"Yeah. That makes sense." Olivia nearly whispered, not liking where this was headed. She really didn't want this conversation to head in the direction of Elliot and what happened. All she wanted to do was be evaluated to see how mentally impaired she was.

"Olivia, when you think about Elliot what is the first word that pops into your mind?" Huang asked her. Love.

"Love." Olivia answered instantly. Huang gave her a questionable look that didn't make Olivia feel uncomfortable as she thought it would have.

"What is the first thought that pops into your mind when you think of him?" He asked, not questioning her last answer like Olivia thought he was.

"Uhm," Olivia shuddered for a moment. Flashbacks of yesterday popped into her head. "Him being inside of me and holding the gun to Joham's head." She answered quietly, ashamed of herself for reveling what had happened to Huang, even though he already was made aware of the circumstances. Huang didn't blink an eye.

"Are you afraid of him, Olivia?" Huang asked her. After all of the invasive questions that he had asked her, this one seemed to be the one that made her question herself the most. She loved him as she had just admitted to Huang, but how could you be afraid of the man you loved. The truth was she wasn't. Because she knew better than to think that Elliot would ever hurt her on purpose. Because she knew better than to think that Elliot would ever change from the man she had always known.


	8. Home

**A/N: Well, the thanksgiving holiday is pretty much over for me :( I'm going back to my wonderful classes tomorrow and I don't know how often I'm going to be able to update. I'm going to try and update every Thursday if thats okay :) The chapters will be much better and longer...**

**I would really like to thanks ****_Amanda4Meloni_**** for continuing to review on the chapters because you ask really good questions that make me pay attention to detail. I want to thank everyone else, ****_Emzookz_**** especially, for sticking with the story, even though its a little rough around the edges. Hopefully without trying to cram into a one week time slot like I've been doing lately, the chapters will run much smoother :) **

**SVU belongs to Dick Wolf. **

* * *

November 15

"Olivia," Alex whispered from the front of the car, "your home." Olivia shifted and rubbed her eyes. She was expecting it to be daylight out, but surrounding the SUV was just the dark night air shining bright against the dull city lights. Falling asleep on the car ride home wasn't exactly what she had planned out, nor would she have ever thought she could sleep again considering the facts, but exhaustion can quickly wipe away your mind and put you in a _dreamless_ sleep. 'Dreamless,' Olivia thought. That was the key word that made sleeping not seem so bad. It was like she wasn't existing anymore. Olivia felt a tremor run through her at the thought of suicide. She wasn't about to mention that to Huang, who was sitting like he had been for the past few hours on the seat beside her, or else they'd lock her up in a looney bin. Besides the chances of her doing that were really tiny. But there was still that portion of her brain nagging to her that it might be better that way. Elliot might be able to find closure if she was dead.

"Thanks, Alex." Olivia whispered, sounding defeated as she opened the door and climbed out of the car. She had been living on this familiar street for 14 years and now hearing the distant noise of a dog barking, she flinched. 'Joham is dead,' she kept reminding herself, keen on the idea that thinking it might make the world seem like a more comforting place. Only it wasn't doing her much good.

"Liv, wait!" Alex called from the driver's side, looking concerned. Liv turned to look at her forcing a fake smile on her face. Maybe Alex would leave her alone if she looked like she wasn't about to collapse sobbing which was how she felt.

"I think I should stay with you." Alex said searching Olivia's face for a sign of rejection. Her facial expression didn't change, she just shook her head politely. The last thing she wanted was for Alex in her apartment while she wept her heart out in her bedroom. It just wasn't going to do anyone any good. Besides Alex probably had places to be and people to have meetings with.

"I'm fine, Alex." Olivia mumbled turning back around to cross the street to where her apartment building sat. It was late out, almost 11. Most of the lights in the building were out, except the one in the lobby. The few muted street lamps that were in the parking lot seemed to haunt her unintentionally. Just a day before, her and Elliot were being walked through there by none other then Joham himself. She remembered the gun pressing against her temple. The way she hoped that the crazy old cat lady or her sex addict neighbors would see this and call help. Then she realized that hoping was pointless. Because it was over.

She was a victim now, so was Elliot. Knowing that she should've done something, anything to fight back and come back alive and well, not this broken state she was in, made her eyes hot. Maybe this was her fault. Maybe if it had not been for her they wouldn't be in this situation right now. Maybe Elliot wouldn't have to be explaining to his ex what happened and see his kids huddle around his bed crying and praying he was okay. Maybe she wouldn't be walking back to her apartment where this horrible, sick twisted game started. Olivia wrapped her arms around her stomach and chocked back a sob.

"Olivia!" Alex's voice caught her by surprise and she whirled around expecting something else. It was just Alex in the SUV with Huang now in the passenger seat. "I'm going to stop by tomorrow morning." Olivia wanted to deny her. To tell her to fuck off and mind her own god damn business. All she wanted to do was to be alone.

"Okay." Olivia called back weakly, afraid if she said anything much louder her voice would crack and they would know she had been crying. She didn't know what they were expecting though. How could she not cry? She turned back around and resumed walking back to the lobby, her pace more quickly paced this time. Something about the eerie way shadows seemed to dance off the pavement made her think there was someone else there. Someone else watching her.

She pushed open the doors of the lobby allowing the warmer air encase her skin in a blanket of comfort. She let out a sigh of relief, knowing that she got this far. Soon the paranoia came over her again. There could be a million hiding places in the lobby where a perp could be waiting, watching her for the perfect chance to pounce and make his kill. Olivia jammed on the elevator button repeatedly, pressing it harder and harder each time, hoping it would go faster. The ding startled her and she flinched back as the doors swung open. As she got in and pressed the close button, she hoped to god no one else would come in. Especially the imaginary perp. The doors closed sooner then she had expected and she shrunk back on the floor of the elevator. It was almost to painful to make it this far, how did she expect herself to make it much farther without loosing it completely?

* * *

November 16

"Dad," Maureen's voice rang out, "calm down." Elliot shot her a look that clearly stated, 'shut up.' She held her hands up in defeat and backed away from the arguing men. It was in her best nature to calm the two colleagues down just in case an even larger fight broke out. That was the last thing anyone would really want.

"I can't believe you let her go!" Elliot yelled, worry surging through his veins. What if something happened to her on the way home? What if she hurt herself? As these questions raced through his mind he pulled the gray sweatshirt Fin had given to him over his head. He needed to get home to her now.

"Elliot, we can't force her to stay here. You of all people should know that." Fin explained trying to rationalize out Elliot's feelings. Obviously he wasn't thinking straight. For starters she was one of the most stubborn people in the whole god damn world. How would Elliot expect her to stay here willingly? It was a wonder he wasn't fighting to get out. She was getting poked and prodded at as much as he was. Maybe more considering she had wax poured on her chest, she was beaten, and she was forced to perform sexual acts. It made Fin's stomach churn thinking about how that went down.

"Well, she isn't capable of going home by herself." Elliot argued. In all honesty, Fin wasn't exactly ecstatic about the thought of Liv going home by herself, not so soon. It was her choice though and Fin knew he couldn't possibly understand what she had gone through. She obviously just wanted to be alone.

"Alex is going to check on her tomorrow morning." Fin said trying to point of things that would prevent Elliot from throwing another hissy fit. Elliot shot him the same look he shot Maureen. If Fin and the rest of the team really thought that sending Alex fucking Cabot over tomorrow morning would help anything at all whatsoever, they were fucking insane. It was one fucking o'clock in the fucking morning. That gave her plenty of time to get robbed or to hurt herself or to even get kidnapped. The possibilities were endless. Elliot tried to push past Fin, but he placed his hand on his chest to stop him for a moment.

"Elliot, you're thinking like a victim." Fin said wisely. Those words reached down right into Elliot's soul. It was the truth. He was thinking like a victim. Around every corner there was a danger. The chances of getting hurt again were slim, yet lurking around every inch of the world there was a danger that was just itching to get to you.

"I want to see her." Elliot told Fin firmly. And as much as Elliot wanted to see Olivia's beautiful eyes, he was scared to death of the thought. He was scared because he thought she would reject him, tell him she never wanted to see him again. He couldn't blame her for that.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Fin said looking into Elliot's eyes trying to convince him of his sincerity. He knew Elliot wanted to see Olivia to confirm what had happened, to try and figure this out. What was best for them right now, though, was space. Until they came back to work, if they ever did, they would need to try and find a way to start the recovery process. Confronting each other was the beginning of that, but it was way to soon.

"Please." Elliot whispered. In his eyes were pain. Pure pain. Remembering the way he overpowered her was enough to send his heart down into spirals of despair. The guilt was more overwhelming than it had been before because now he was being told even by his friends that he shouldn't see her, but he had to. She needed him as much as he needed her.

* * *

Olivia lay on her bed. The bed that Elliot had so recently slept in. The bed that she lured him out of to be taken captive. Her body was rigid thinking about it. She didn't want to be here, in fact, she didn't even want to be anywhere were Elliot set foot. she wanted to be alone from any of those memories that haunted her. She figured even if she was in the frozen tundras she wouldn't be able to get him out of her head. And as much as she wanted him to be gone from her life and to just move on, she craved his touch, his warmth. He was the light at the end of her tunnel her whole adult life, looking for her father, looking out for her brother, looking for someone to share her life with. She wished with her whole aching heart and soul that by some miracle he would turn up at her front door looking for her like she had looked for him.

Those salty tears streamed down her face and she felt her stomach churn. She got up carefully and made her way to the bathroom where she emptied her stomach into the toilet bowel. Why did this have to happen? Why to them? That close relationship they had built over 14 years of their lives was now gone. It was merely a pile of dust now threatening to blow away for good. It was sad, but it was the truth.

Liv got up and looked at herself in the mirror. It was dark in the bathroom because she hadn't bothered to turn on the light. Or maybe she just couldn't stand the thought of anything bright right now. Then she remembered her pills and ointments she was prescribed and that Alex still had them. Great, another reason for her to come over tomorrow. She touched the reflection she barely recognized. The skin was shallow and pale, her eyes dark and dreary, her hair pulled back into a dull bun. Nothing about her seemed familiar. It was like Joham had turned her into a whole different person.

She suddenly had the disgusting feeling that Joham was on her. That he was ejaculating on her chest and pouring the wax on her laughing at her with that sick, twisted smile. She tore her clothes of and jumped in the shower turning the scalding hot water on full blast letting it sear her skin, as unhealthy as it might be for her whips and burns. It felt like she was on fire, but as she poured a whole bottle of soap on her body she felt the slightest bit better. Now she at least had him off of her.

When she got out of the shower and changed into clean sweats she barely ever wore, her bed looked like it had before when she got back, but something about it made her stop in her tracks. She couldn't sleep there. Not now. It was taunting her with the sheer fact that Elliot had been there. She yanked the blanket off the bed and went out to the living room where her couch was. As much as she didn't want to sleep there either, it was a whole lot better than that bed. The blanket wrapped a protective film around her from the outside world. What she had craved since she had gotten out of that cabin was finally here. She was cut off from everyone else. Alone at last. That didn't stop the salty tears from coming back, but Olivia wasn't angry at herself this time for being so weak. She welcomed them knowing that in just a few hours she would have to hold them back for the sake of her own dignity.

And so she cried all night.

* * *

Alex arrived at Olivia's apartment at around 11 o'clock the next morning. She had called Olivia's cellphone and wasn't surprised when she didn't answer. She left her a message on both her home phone and cell just in case. Alex truly felt for Olivia as any best friend would. She was victimized by her partner, even though it was by force, but still. Alex couldn't help but listen yesterday when Olivia and Huang were talking. It truly broke her heart hearing Huang ask her some of the questions. It tore her up inside even more hearing to her struggle to find an answer to them, as simple as they had seemed at the time.

"Liv." Alex knocked on Olivia's apartment door with the note an officer had scribbled on it.

_Dear Detective Benson, _

_Got your locks replaced. Keys are in your door at Captain Cragen's orders. Hope you're okay. _

_-Officer Marus_

Alex knew Olivia was probably shaken up that some people had gone inside her apartment and changed the locks, but at least she was safer.

"Liv, it's Alex!" Alex called again knocking. "I have your meds." She heard footsteps of the other side of the door and sighed in relief when she heard all of the locks being taken off. Olivia opened the door and peaked her head out. It was obvious she hadn't slept a wink that night due to the swollen state of her eyes and the bags under them.

"Can I come in?" Alex asked her politely when she didn't open the door any further. Olivia nodded reluctantly and opened it up. Her house looked as it had when she had been over for those homemade drinks they had every so often. Her kitchen was neatly kept, the recipe books that she used occasionally tucked away in a corner on her counter, her huge liquor collection sat on its own cabinet in the hallway, and her sink with not a dirty dish in it. Not that Alex thought Liv had anything to eat anyway.

"Have you heard anything about Elliot?" Olivia asked bluntly to Alex when she lay the bags of her medication down on the counter. Alex peered up at her and nodded. She wasn't really sure whether or not Huang would want her to tell Olivia about it only because it might get her anxious. He had concluded that she had grown attached to Elliot and partially blamed herself for what had happened. He also believed that Elliot felt the exact same.

"He's asking for you." Alex responded trying to sound casual. Olivia's eyes seemed to widen in disbelief. Why would he want to talk to her after all she caused?

"Why would he want to talk to me?" Olivia asked to herself. Alex sighed and stopped unwrapping the medication.

"Liv, you know this isn't your fault, right?" She asked the question to Olivia who just shook her head. "It's not. Please don't say that it is." Her bloodshot eyes shot up to meet Alex's sapphires.

"Alex, you couldn't possibly understand what happened in that basement. Someone has to take the blame for it and it's me." Alex couldn't believe what she had heard. Olivia's voice had been strong and completely filled with anger.

It was almost like she was treating herself as the perp. Maybe it would be better for Olivia and Elliot to see each other sooner. Maybe then they could both agree that no one was to blame for this. Hopefully that's how it would work out.

**A/N: Next chapter Liv and Elliot talk! yayy! :) Review Pretty pleasee**


	9. Float on

**A/N: This chapter is going to be emotional because Olivia and Elliot are finally going to see each other! I'm just saying this is so hard to write because its emotionally exhausting (lol) so I don't know how long I should continue this story so please give me an idea! Please, please review!**

**"Just me" asked if I was a Mariska Hargitay fan, and the answer to that is of course :) You also mentioned you hated Kathy and trust me, I do too. I think that's why I have her in the story just so that Elliot can see how annoying she is...**

**SVU belong to Dick Wolf **

* * *

November 16

Olivia hadn't been to keen on letting Alex stay all day long. She had tried a few polite attempts to get her to leave, but Alex made it known that she had spoken to Cragen and he insisted that Alex stay for her own good. Olivia wanted to argue and snap at them that she could take care of herself as she was an adult, but Alex's concern filled eyes were enough for her to allow her to stay. Only for tonight.

It had proven quite helpful to have Alex around though. She made Liv comfortable in the living room after Olivia embarrassingly explained to her that she was afraid to sleep in her own room due to Elliot's recent presence. Alex had been understanding to this fact and offered her apartment as a haven, but Olivia declined as politely as she could. She didn't want to be known as the Detective who couldn't even sleep in her own place just because that was the last place her and her partner had been on normal standards together.

Alex also made her some delicious soup which surprised Olivia a lot. She never begged Alex Cabot as the cooking type, but it was probably the best soup she'd had in a while. It would have been a great rode to recovery had it not been for the loud knocking on her door at around 6 o'clock in the evening.

The soup Olivia had been eating clattered to the floor sending the hot liquid spilling all over the hard wood floors and walls. This didn't seem to fase Liv out of her startled state. She was staring at the door with the realization that whomever was behind it knocking, wasn't going to be someone who she wanted to see.

Alex came running out of the bathroom equally frightened by the loud noises coming from the living room. Her eyes flickered to Liv's rigid frame and she recognized the glassy eyed expression instantly. She hesitantly walked over to her trying to avoid stepping in the boiling hot soup on the floor. Liv was shaking from head to toe like a scared puppy and Alex wanted so badly for the emotional torture eating her up inside to go away. She was the last person to deserve this. Alex reached out her manicured hand and touched Liv's arm gently, careful not to irritate any bruises. Liv's zoned brown eyes snapped up to meet hers. Alex noticed how large her pupils had become and knew she was having some sort of flashback.

The knocking sounded again and Liv abandoned Alex's stare and snapped her attention back to the door, petrified of who the hell was so eager to see her. What if it was a friend of Joham's? What would happen then?

"Liv," Alex stepped in front of her to block the view of the door, "sit down, hon." She placed her other hand carefully on her other arm and gently pressured her body into sitting down on the kitchen chair again. Alex gave Liv one last comforting glance before she went to answer the door. Truth be told it was probably Cragen or someone from the precinct coming to check up on them, but she still made it her personal wish to kill whoever it was for being so insensitive as to not call them prior for their little late night visit. She swung the door open, not bothering to look through the peephole, thinking she knew well who it was. Little did she know, she did not.

"Elliot." Alex breathed in barely a whisper. And there he was. 'He didn't look good,' was an understatement. He looked awful actually. He was in sweatpants that so obviously didn't belong to him, and he was covered in cuts and bruises as well as the clearly visible bandage on his hip. She wondered how the hell he got here, and who would think of letting him out of the hospital in a state like this. But then again they let Liv out and she was in equally bad shape.

"Alex, can I see Liv?" Elliot asked, eagerness present in his voice, no matter how soft it was. Alex didn't know what to say. She didn't want to say 'no' to Elliot's plea, but she didn't want both of them to undergo even more emotional stress seeing each other. Where the hell was Huang when you needed him? It took her a moment to go with the better decision to let them see each other. Nothing good would come out of separating them, especially since they would both be pissed as hell at her. Alex moved aside from the doorway allowing him to brush past her, sending her a thankful look with his bloodshot eyes which were undoubtedly from crying.

When his eyes fell on Liv, it took him a moment to remember why he was here. All he could focus on was Olivia. Her eyes, her hair, her body. It wasn't like him to be this unfocused especially in a situation such as this, but looking at her for the first time under better circumstances then last time. She was seated at the small kitchen table a soup bowl on the floor next to her foot. That must've been the clatter he had heard out in the hallway as he paced nervously trying to figure out what the hell he was supposed to say to her. He still didn't know for that matter. All he could think about was how she was going to react in seeing his face after what he had done to her. His reaction to seeing her was much different then he thought it would be. Elliot had no idea that seeing her like this, broken and damaged, would effect him this much.

He felt as if he were falling through space, through every memory of them together. Their late night talks at those dingy bars, those times she let him sleep on the couch when he and Kathy tried to figure out the sleeping arrangements and he couldn't stand to hear her voice anymore. All he wanted to hear in those times was the soothing voice he'd heard for 14 long years of Olivia. And now he wanted to hear it again more then ever. He wanted to feel normal again, to have things under control. He wanted to admit how much he loved her tonight. He was intent on getting it because if it didn't happen now, then he didn't know when it would.

"I'll give you guys some time." Alex's voice rang out through both of their brains. She was in the process of gathering her purse together to go out for a long walk. It was in her best intentions to let them talk it out because that is what they needed most right now. She watched closely out of the corner of her eye as they just looked at each other, trying to figure out what they were both feeling. Her human curiosity got to her and she silently wanted to stay and see what would come out of this whole thing. It took the greatest part of her self discipline to not stay and as she walked out the front door she could've sworn she hesitated before closing it completely.

After the small click of the door closing faded from their ears, El and Liv just stood there. Her eyes were becoming less and less scared and her heart rate was beginning to slow once she realized it was just Elliot, although seeing him made her feel the kind of fear you felt when you did something disappointing and your parents were scolding you. She was trying her hardest to bear the eye contact her and Elliot were making, alas she couldn't. She knew he was angry with her and she couldn't stand to look into those eyes that she had looked into for so many years of her life. Those were the eyes that mattered most to her and this might as well have been the last time she looked into them. Liv wouldn't blame him if he chose to walk out on her. She wouldn't blame anyone. She had destroyed so many lives and he was just here to say goodbye and tell her how much she had screwed him over.

That was the last thing on Elliot's mind right now.

"Liv," He breathed. He took a step towards her seated figure and she stood up from the chair suddenly, looking at the floor. He took another step, his intention not to scare her, but she took another step back and was now cornered against the wall. He could sense how scared he was making her, so he stopped. It broke his heart seeing her like this. She seemed to be absolutely afraid for her life because of him and he wondered how close she would let him get to her without breaking down.

"I'm sorry." He said softly remembering really why he was here. "I know I am probably the last person you want to see right now and I understand that, but I just needed to see you. I won't stay long, but I needed to tell you how sorry I was for doing this to you." Tears started streaming down his face at the truthfulness of his words. Even though he never let himself cry in front of anyone, now was the exception. She trusted him enough to cry in front of, so he should too. "I know I'm going to be that monster in your life that took away your dignity as a human and I don't think you'll ever be able to forgive me. You trusted me, Olivia, and I just threw it all away. I don't deserve to have your forgiveness, but I'm just asking you to know that I love you." He leaned up against the kitchen counter on his elbows and put his head in his hands. "I should've protected you, instead I violated you and let him. I'm such a pathetic bastard."

He broke down sobbing letting himself go completely. Liv felt the guilt start to overflow inside of herself. He shouldn't let himself feel this way about something that wasn't his fault.

"Elliot, this wasn't your fault. If anything it's my fault." Olivia said in a shaky voice as her own flood of tears spilled over her eyes. "I let him in the house and dragged you down into a mess that wasn't yours. I'm so sorry." She said shaking her head placing her head in her hands. She wanted to say more, but she wasn't sure her voice could hold out. "I love you too." She choked out as best as she could. He didn't understand the sincerity of her words obviously because she loved for so long, but she could never have him. She always dreamt of saying those words, how magical it would feel finally getting the burden out of her soul, but this was nothing she imagined. In her dreams he was making love to her, not sobbing in her kitchen as he apologized for violating her, something that saved both of their lives.

"Liv, don't apologize for something that wasn't your fault." Elliot muttered through his tears. Olivia shook her head and all that fear she felt before was gone. He wasn't that monster that violated her, Joham was. He was forced, being held at gunpoint. He wouldn't have done it if he thought she would have preferred the other. He was the man that saved her life. He was the man that had saved her life even before this happened. He was the man that made her realize that love was real.

She walked over to his shuddering figure. Her fingers danced over the fabric of his shirt before she lay her hand gently on his shoulder.

"I love you." She said to him. Liv had no idea what she was doing, only that it felt right because she wasn't holding back anymore. Now she was telling him the truth. He shuddering slowed and he turned his head slightly to look at her. Liv took his hand on the counter with her other and gently guided his body to face her own.

"I love you." She said once more. She removed her hand from his shoulder a traced a stray tear as it fell down his cheek.

Elliot felt something inside of him build up. Maybe it was the fact he couldn't believe that she was actually telling him that she loved him or maybe it was the fact she was this close to him and she wasn't flinching away. It made him feel like everything was okay again, but he had to keep reminding himself that it wasn't. Except the way she looked into his ashamed eyes without fear, without the hatred that he'd been expecting, it made him feel as it maybe this could work out.

"Why aren't you scared?" He whispered to her, his hands involuntarily moving up to her waist, gently laying on her curves sure not to hurt her bruises. His question rang out true, but she wasn't entirely sure what the answer to that was. She was a victim after all, but something about the way he seemed to be more pained by looking at her injuries then even she was made her mind rearrange things.

"Because I trust you, Elliot." She said as her hand moved up to cup his face soothingly, letting her fingers brush over his temple. "Because I love you more then I've loved anyone." Elliot moved his hands up to her face as well and brushed away a piece of hair. He let his hands run over her cheek as gently as he could, barely skimming her skin.

"I-I love you too, Liv." He stammered more tears streaming down his face as the weight of her words weighed down on him. He didn't deserve her love. Only the greatest man on earth deserved to be with the angel that was Olivia Benson. She pressed herself closer to him, wanting to be as close as humanly possible.

"Kiss me, Elliot." She said softly after a few moments. He looked into her eyes. Brown against blue. Love battling love. All she wanted to do was be with him. All she wanted was for him to know how much she loved him and how this would affect them, but they would get by. They had something that only happened to lucky people, and that was true love. It was the kind of love that never faded, it was the kind that lasted a lifetime.

He leaned in. She could smell his pepperminty breath. He could smell her beautiful skin that radiated vanilla. They could both smell their tears as their lips pressed together. Her lips were soft and full. They were warm and inviting. This was the feeling he craved since the day he fell in love with her those 14 years ago. Now it was finally happening. And although he expected her to pull away and regret ever meeting him, she didn't. She kissed him slipping her tongue between his lips and massaging it against his.

Now things were different. Way different then they were before, but as she felt his warm body pressed against hers, she knew she wouldn't be going through it alone. They had each other.


	10. Uncovering the past

**A/N: Having fun reading reviews so please leave more :D This will be as realistic as I can make it which will be very. Only because I'm one who is more interested in what would _really_ happen. Some of this story shows whats happening to other characters, not just Liv y El. **

**Thank you so much for everyone who has kept up with my story. Be sure to check out my others too. **

**I realized how pointless it is to have a set date on this because my studying schedule is constantly fluctuating. So, I'll update it at least once a week :) **

**SVU belongs to Dick Wolf.**

* * *

November 17

Olivia woke up to the sound of a tea pot screeching. It took her a few moments for her groggy mind to comprehend what had happened last night. She remembered kissing Elliot, the way his lips felt against hers. She also remembered them laying down on the couch together as he held her closely in his arms. The amazing feeling of falling asleep crept up on her then and she drifted off in the safe haven that was his arms.

Now there she was a warm, heavy blanket wrapped snugly around her body and the missing presence of Elliot making her sad. Liv shifted slightly under the blanket and secretly admired how he had managed to get up without waking her. She smiled when she heard him curse at the sound of kitchen utensils clanking together.

Liv realized she wouldn't rather be anywhere else. The sound of Elliot attempting to make them a hot drink actually was very amusing considering before now Kathy or Maureen probably cared for the family in this type of manner.

'It probably wasn't Elliot's cup of tea.'Olivia laughed openly at the pun she had just made. She saw Elliot poke his head around the corner of the kitchen and his flushed face suggested he wasn't having the greatest time trying to make one of the most simple things on earth. The smile that broke across his face was rather comforting though.

"Morning, Liv." Elliot said with a wave of his hand. Olivia giggled and waved back sleep finally beginning to wear off of her.

"Hey, El." She said with a coy smile herself. "Having fun in there?" She couldn't quite hold back her laughter as she realized how helpless the famous Elliot Stabler could be at times in the kitchen.

"Well," He said a small blush beginning to creep over his face, "I-I wanted you to have something warm when you woke up." Olivia smiled and pulled the covers off of her. The shocking coldness of her apartment. She fought back the urge to climb back onto the inviting couch, and instead wrapped herself in Elliot's inviting arms, immediately feeling warm once more.

"You're warm." She cooed to him softly smelling the familiar cologne. She felt Elliot smile into her hair.

"You're beautiful." He whispered back, gently running his hands down her delicate back feeling the radiation of her skin seeping through the thin t-shirt. Liv smiled once more, loving the way his compliments meant the world to her. Before Liv could say something back to him they both heard the sleep filled voice of Alex.

"When I heard the tea kettle, I wasn't expecting to walk out and see this." Liv turned her head slightly to see Alex standing in the doorway of her bedroom with a amused expression on her face. Olivia and Elliot were both secretly more amused then her seeing the blonde A.D.A in an oversized t-shirt and fluffy pajama pants. Her bed head wasn't exactly helping the strained laughter that escaped Liv's lips.

Although Alex wasn't to keen on the idea that Olivia Benson was laughing at her in her pajamas, she was glad that it might've buried some of the painful memories that were ripping through her mind only a few hours before. Well, before Elliot came at least. It looked like he was doing a good enough job making her happy than any one could have.

"I did make some tea, Alex, if you would like some." Elliot offered not risking removing his hands from Olivia's back. He feared if he did he'd miss her to much, even though she was still wrapped tightly around him. Alex smiled.

"Thanks, that would be great and Liv sorry I slept in your room. I would've slept on the couch, but I came home kinda late and saw you had already occupied it..." She trailed off trying to read Olivia's expression to see if she was at all offended by that.

"No, no Alex it's fine." Olivia said with a nod. She honestly didn't care at all where Alex slept as long as Elliot was safe if that made any sense.

It made sense to her.

* * *

John Munch walked through the doors of the precinct witha gloomy look on his face. He saw Fin seated at his desk along with George Huang who was eagerly pacing back and forth blabbering something to him. Of course he was. What else would Huang be doing except talking endlessly about profiles and interviewing a bunch of loonies. Fin did seem to be intrigued by whatever Huang was saying so it might be helpful.

"Any leads on this Joham guy?" Munch asked as he approached the two men. Fin nodded and pointed at the projection screen in front of them. Munch saw a huge picture plastered on it of the man he knew that had taken Liv and El captive. He looked even grosser in a mug shot. His eyes were a sullen, murky green, his shoulder length black hair looked like it hadn't been watched in over a week, and he looked distinctly like a psycho. The name above it read Joham Bentley.

"I've managed to build up a solid profile of Joham." Huang said. Confusion filled Munch.

"Wait, why would we need to build a profile if he's already dead?" Munch asked. Fin and Huang exchanged a glance. If there was one thing Johan Munch hated it was not knowing something that others seemed to know all about.

"John, we believe that Joham may have a partner." Fin said quietly, bracing himself for Munch's reaction.

"What?!" He exclaimed. Oh hell no. If that sicko Joham Bentley had another sick friend that helped him kill then he would personally kill the bastard himself.

"Yes, well when the police raided his house they found his cell phone. He texted the same guy over 6,000 messages in about one week. All of them were about Olivia and he was watching her too. He had pictures and videos of her at home, work, stores. It was beyond stalking." Huang said with a grimace.

"I thought the detectives in that town were investigating this, not us." Munch said with even more confusion.

"They agreed to work with us on it. Doesn't seem like they've been through a crime like this. It's a pretty small town so they barely have any technology. We're still tracing the cell phone, but chances are the man he was texting lives here, in New York, same as Joham." Fin said. A rush of relief spread through John as the realization that he would be able to work the case along side the other detectives. Although he had no doubt in his mind that they were good at their job, he wasn't willing to place justice for Olivia and Elliot into their hands.

"Good, good." John said looking at the screen once more scanning over the details of his life. Born and raised in New York City to his single parent mother who was arrested three times for prostitution. Huang saw John reading over his life and decided to fill him in on things that weren't inclosed on the file.

"He was arrested a week after he was in the foster home for raping a nine year old that was staying with the same foster parents. The charges were expunged due to lack of evidence and the girls shaky story." Huang said. That explained why the charges weren't listed on his file.

"Who's the girl?" Munch asked. "Maybe we can interview her and see if she remembers anything." Fin looked at him like he was crazy.

"John, this happened over seventeen years ago. You really think that she'll remember anything about being raped?" He questioned him. Chances were that she didn't, but it would be better to check with her. Being raped stuck with you for a long time, they all knew that. Even the smallest of details could be a huge part of why Joham went after Liv.

"I do actually." Munch answered coldly at Fin's interrogation towards him. Huang's eyes flickered back and forth between the two agitated men. It was obvious they were both extremely stressed out over what had happened with Olivia.

"Her names Hannah Cassano, Munch." Huang said clearly trying to calm them down. "She lives in Brooklyn."

"I'm going to talk to her." Munch said as he took one final glance at the picture of Joham on the screen. That sick son of a bitch raped since he was fourteen. Why the hell would he go after Liv?

* * *

A young, blonde girl answered the door of the old, worn down brownstone. She was undoubtedly the girl they had seen in the file only about seventeen years older. In the file she had the same platinum blonde hair and dark blue eyes, only now she was taller about 5'7 and her hair was shoulder length which was shorter then it had been in the picture.

"Can I help you?" She asked when she saw Munch standing on her doorstep. It was unusual for her to have visitors. She never usually left the house, only for work. He flashed her his police badge and she felt somewhat taken aback. It was even more peculiar that the police were here. It had been awhile since she got a visit from an officer coming to check up on her. It had been seventeen years after all.

"Hannah Cassano?" He asked, knowing fully well it was her. She nodded slowly.

"I would like to ask you a few questions about Joham Bentley." Munch said professionally. Hannah felt as if her whole world was spinning. No, God, no. She hadn't spoke that name in at least four years since she dropped out of therapy. Hearing it being said so bluntly was nerve wracking.

"I understand it's been awhile, but he recently abducted two police officers and tortured them. We're trying to figure out if he had any kind of partner so we're interviewing everyone that he had any contact with." Munch explained farther, seeing the reluctancy plastered on her face.

"I haven't spoken to Joham since the trial." She said softly, grimacing as she said his name so casually. Even when she was being taunted in her nightmares, she couldn't say 'Joham no!' All she could do was whimper and cry and hug herself when she realized it was all the past and it still haunted her in the present.

"I understand that, Ma'am," Munch said, knowing she was trying to find a polite way to not talk about him, "but really we need your help." Hannah weighed in her chances of talking to the detective. Chances were she didn't have any useful information to offer the police and they weren't forcing her to do anything. Also she would probably be plagued with even more nightmares of what that bastard did to her. Still, human curiosity got the best of her and she knew that she needed to know what happened. If he had a partner she needed to know.

"Sure, fine." Hannah said shrugging, "Oh and call me Hannah. Please." She hated being called Ma'am. It made her feel like even more of a victim.

A few minutes later Hannah was sitting rigidly across from Munch, playing with the hem of her skirt involuntarily. God, she hadn't been this nervous in a while.

"Hannah, can you tell me what happened when Joham raped you?" Munch asked bluntly. Hannah looked at him uneasily.

"H-He came into my room one night." Hannah started, her voice quivering slightly at the thought of the young 14 year old boy; his scrawny body, his dirt black hair, and his murky green, ugly eyes.

"I-I don't remember everything. I only remember him taking his clothes off and telling me t-to touch him." Hannah shuddered. "It's become clearer over the years, but the thing that I remember most is what he said." She paused trying to catch her breath which had become rather uneven.

"He said, 'I'm going to make you feel really good, so don't make a sound.' I was stupid enough to listen to him. I just watched as he touched me and pushed himself inside of me." Munch saw Hannah's eyes begin to fill with tears and he silently put his heart out for her. It was always difficult interviewing a rape victim, especially when they were trying to put the attack in the past.

"It hurt so badly." She sobbed finally breaking down. Munch nodded and waited patiently as she attempted to compose herself.

"Hannah, you know this wasn't your fault. You were a child. You didn't know." He comforted. She nodded and wiped her tear stained eyes on the back of her sleeve.

"Can I ask you if you remember anyone specific that Joham talked to? A friend from school or an older man that might have some significance?" Munch asked her knowing that he hadn't gotten much from interviewing her. Well, it was worth the try. Hannah thought for a moment. Joham usually didn't hang out around other people except...

"Austin. Austin Jester." She finally spoke in a low, hollow tone. "H-He was this awful boy a grade older then Joham. He was a delinquent and manipulated so many girls into bed with him." Hannah remembered vaguely her foster mother telling her to never let a boy touch you down there, that it was very wrong. This of course was after Joham savagely raped her. She remembered the horrible realization that Joham had raped her. She stayed home from school for days throwing up, unable to look at anyone without feeling a terrible feeling that it was her fault.

"Good luck finding him." Hannah said, suddenly realizing how pointless the information she gave Munch was, "he's been homeless since he was eighteen."


End file.
